There is adult material on this page including foul language and explicit sexual details. You need to be 18 years of age or over to read this page. There are no links to visual imagery pornographic material: or pornographic sites.

This page explains very serious mental delusion and highlights a stay in the local mental hospital by the author to cure this delusion.

The previous page Page 17 highlighted that which could have been serious delusion. I think that it was delusion. The backscatter machine cited there may not be as sensitive as experienced by possible delusion. The voices coming from neighbours could have all been Audible Hallucination: this is delusion.

Saturday 7TH November.
I went to see Alec and Janet my friends, Alec wore a black high hat, I was in his workshop, I told Alec that I did not like such hats and I asked him to remove the hat. Alec came towards me rather quickly, I became very afraid that he would hurt me so I grabbed a sharp kitchen knife nearby and threw it out of the open door to get the knife away from us.

A similar occurrence happened when I had a nervous breakdown in 1988, my daughter was wearing a similar hat, I thought that she was turning in to a witch. I asked for my daughters hat and took the hat outside and burnt it. I am afraid of people that appear in front of me as witches when mentally ill. I am afraid they will hurt me. This is a childhood induced phobia, similarly, with such induced childhood phobias, some men will run away from spiders.

Between the 7TH of November 2009, this was the last recorded entry in this diary and the 10Th of November the day the police took me to St. Clements mental hospital I was to mentally ill to make notes. I did pass one man on Bishops Hill who said to me, 'it's a sad end for a cleaver bloke', this audible communication could have been delusion. During this time period somehow from the information that I had heard, ( reference, part 17, previous part, page 504 ), I thought that I was going to be burned alive by people in this area, in my assessment there seemed to be a considerable conspiracy against me locally.

Tuesday 10TH November.
By 2PM in a very poor mental state I became concerned that I may be attacked by neighbours, not my neighbour Pat, however, I felt there could be people alongside Pat's house that could attack me. So I threw my house keys over Pat's garden fence and quickly walked to the road and waited for people to escort me to Holliwells Park to burn me on a funeral pyre.

I waited there 6 hours, I was lightly dressed, it was cold, however, I did not feel terribly cold. Eventually I kind passer by who had seen me standing there questioned me, he realised that I was unwell and I asked to be taken to St. Clements mental hospital. The man phoned the police and a young female police officer took me to St Clements.

I expected, ( because of my political publications that have ridiculed this hospital because of an incorrect psychiatric assessment in 1996 as published on this site ), to be indefinitely detained in this hospital. I was not happy but I knew that I needed psychiatric help. I went through the admission process, and I can vaguely remember having a male supervised bath.

Upon entering the hospital, I was concerned for my safety because of my political publications, I was very depressed, I did not want to be in this hospital. This increased poor mental state caused an increase in the level of delusion: this manifested itself in to visual delusion, 'seeing things that are not there.' This is classic paranoid schizophrenia, I was given, Olanzapine, this is a modern anti psychotic drug to stabilise me, however, this drug takes days to build up to be effective: and the delusion until the drug worked for about a week was quite extensive and worrying.

There now follows an account of this delusion. This account I hope is interesting to the general public as this shows the extent of delusion in mental illness with paranoid schizophrenia. Also, an introduction to a drug regime to correct this schizophrenia, and the stay in a mental hospital to correct this serious mental illness with drugs and considerable care. This is worth reading: 'it can happen to you.'

Upon entering the hospital I saw a psychiatrist who realised that I was ill and that I needed to stay at the hospital. I was booked in and shown a private room that was to be my private room with a bed and a personal belongings cupboard. I was shown the day room, this is a large communal room in the centre of Playford ward, the ward where I now found myself in residence. There were skylights, windows in the ceilings of this day room, I could see rockets going up in to the sky.

This was November the 10Th, only 5 days since Guy Fawkes night, I believe the rockets were real, however, from the feedback of people around me the information that I heard was that people were being sent up in these rockets and destroyed, blown to pieces high in the sky. This alarmed me, particularly, when I saw a rocket go in to the sky and a man said that's the twenty fifth one that we've sent up this week.

I felt this was a reference to a rocket with a person inside it being killed and that ST. Clements, the ward that I was on was being used to destroy people that had gone up against the government in this country. There was machine at a table with a person in it that passed the person out of a skylight, then a loud noise as in rocket noise ensued, after this the cage returned empty and the skylight closed. This was serious delusion.

I somehow also felt that such people were being incinerated on site alive and there was an incinerator on site to do this. I am sure that there used to be an incinerator on site for burning corpses after autopsy's were carried out on this site. Observing the rockets lasted for about a day or two then this changed in to further delusion.

On the second day my neighbour Pat came to see me, she said she had found the keys and was looking after them for me, we talked for a while. When Pat left I could hear her talking outside my bedroom window, I pulled the curtain back and looked out of the window, Pat was talking to a man, there were crowds of people outside that cheered when rockets went up.

When I returned to my room to rest or sleep for the next week I kept the curtains closed, however, when I looked out of the window after a week the view was completely different there were buildings that were not there when I saw Pat outside. So when I saw her with the crowd a week earlier: this was obviously further delusion.

The delusion ensued, this changed in the day room to me thinking that this day room was a large ground floor room in a block of flats. The flats were being taken over by immigrants, the tenant's were being killed to make way for the immigrants to move in. Agents fired darts from their hands in to people that walked through this day room. I heard the victims fall down out of sight of me through double swing doors, I then heard them dragged off and pistol shot to kill them.

This worried me, however, it was just like watching a television movie, and this eventually stopped. All of this visual delusion in the hospital from the start to the finish lasted for about four days until the medication worked. I was still hearing negative voices, and these voices ensued for about six weeks until the medication was changed to Risperidone and the dosage increased.

The negative voices were particularly alarming as they referred to me being killed in the hospital, such remarks as, 'it will not be long before he is dead, he will be gone soon,' When it came to medication being administered, such voices by staff, 'this is his last night, he will be dead by the morning.' These voices ensued in the day and evening repeated many times.

These voices were very mentally destabilising. With such voices they exactly mimic the tone of the voice of a real persons voice that one is familiar with and come from the direction of that person. However, this is just audible delusion, very real: and very mentally destabilising.

For the first week I just sat in the day room not talking to anybody, I was very deluded and unhappy, I was in St. Clements, and I felt that I would not be coming out of this hospital or I would be transferred to Rampton hospital stitched up as criminally insane: indefinitely detained. Rampton is a mental hospital for the criminally insane. I was not transferred to Rampton mental hospital: this was just extreme paranoia.

When I entered the hospital I had amplified sexual interests, amplified connective sexual thoughts, ( isolation causes this in many people, ) and because of the anger of people abusing me over the prior six months that I now feel was mostly if not all of it delusion, I was angry with all people and any person that spoke to me. I silently swore at them in my head calling them wankers bastards etc. All of this deviant anti social behaviour disappeared after about six weeks of being in the hospital in a not abusive environment.

Also, I thought that my thoughts were being transmitted to people that I talked to or sat near and when I silently swore at people I rapidly shook my head from side to side to show people that I was not in agreement with my thoughts. I explained to people that were mystified by this rapid head shaking why I was doing the head shaking and that I was swearing at them in my head, this causing me to shake my head. I apologised to the people when I shook my head I explained this uncontrollable behaviour.

I was sectioned in this mental hospital, this means you are imprisoned, not allowed out. Although under section you are not allowed out you can freely walk on the ward visiting the day room and the office for help / advice. The staff were friendly and so were most of the other patients, board games can be played with other members of staff and patients, this is encouraged. There is also occupational therapy, bead making, and art drawing, making birthday cards etc.

A section order is rescinded slowly at this hospital and in the first week of January 2010 I was allowed to walk the grounds for an hour in the mornings and the afternoons. If you abscond the police will come looking for you and you will be returned to the hospital and leave cancelled for a few weeks until it is thought you will not abscond again.

By the 14Th of January this leave was increased to one hour walking off the grounds to the shops and on the 21ST to four hours per day walking home or to do shopping. By the 28Th this was increased to full day release and staying overnight at home some nights. I currently have a weekend at home and the date is Sunday 31ST January 2010 writing this web page. I expect to be fully released very soon.

Thanks to the hospital staff who were very friendly and caring, I have seen some very mentally ill people come in to this hospital ward and with good care and correct medication that were soon made well and soon left. Thanks to the occupational therapy team for keeping people busy in board games, bracelet bead making, art work etc. The wii game on the large television in the day room occupied a lot of peoples time.

Thanks to the catering team, the food was very good, and thanks to the doctors for their care and interest. Thanks to my relatives that kept coming to see me and Alec and Charles that came to see me on a few occasions. Special thanks to my sister who telephoned daily to speak to me.

If I ever get voices outside my head again I will seek medical help immediately.

Further Reading About Mental Illness In My Book -

The Brain: Natures Own Computer.

As always if a person or corporate helps me I always write and thank them.

A W JOHNS,
34 BISHOPS HILL,
IPSWICH,
SUFFOLK,
IP3 8EN.

DATED 09 02 10

My Ref /10/1003.txt

TO THE DOCTORS AND STAFF
PLAYFORD WARD
ST. CLEMENTS MENTAL
HOSPITAL.
IPSWICH.
IP3 8LS.

Thanks for your help / care provided as a fantastic working team
comprising the doctors and the staff, catering staff, occupational
therapy staff and gym supervisor Ben.

I thank you all again for aiding my speedy recovery to good mental
health.

Best Wishes,


I Am,

Yours Sincerely,

Anthony W Johns.

St. Clements mental hospital assigns ex patients a social worker and support workers. The social worker came to see me at my home. In discussion some of which I offered explanations for was not completely factual. I wrote to the social worker offering explanations.

Highlighted in the letter below is my assessment that Ipswich College / University College used students to profile me. If any person has any knowledge of this will you please write to me. This assessed harassment was meant to drive me to suicide, however, this assessed situation lead to my eventual increased paranoia that needed professional treatment to stop the created delusion.

A W JOHNS,
34 BISHOPS HILL,
IPSWICH,
SUFFOLK,
IP3 8EN.

DATED 16 02 10
My Ref /10/1004.txt

JXXXX XXXXXXXXXX
SOCIAL WORKER
EAST IPSWICH COMMUNITY MENTAL
HEALTH TEAM,
ST. CLEMENTS MENTAL
HOSPITAL.
IPSWICH.
IP3 8LS.

Hello Jxxxx, thanks for coming to see me yesterday. When we spoke I
did not accurately state the circumstances relating to the sexual
profiling of me.

1. Sexual Profiling, Sexual Testing.
That I feel the sexual psychological profiling of me primarily in
Ipswich shops and on route to shops actually happened for a long
period of time. However, some of this could have been delusion between
August and late October 2009. That which was not mentioned is that in
my further assessment this was organised by Ipswich College and later
the University College. James Hehir now deceased CEO of Ipswich
Borough Council was on the board of this University College.

anobeisworthless.com

In my assessment feedback from such testing had the interest of
police forensic psychologists and hierarchical members of Suffolk
County Council and IBC that in IBC's case: part fund the college.

2. Gods Messenger.
As discussed my assessment of this situation is that the thought just
entered my head, presumably linked to sub conscious, or this was a
spiritual revelation. The purpose of me to act as Gods messenger if
this was a spiritual revelation is published in my work here -

www.exact-psychology.com/arm.htm

3. Web Design.
You stated that an organisation or group: ( I believe connected to
mental illness ), was looking for a person to help with a web site
a couple of hours per week. I dismissed this immediately because it
is dealing with people. I prefer to work alone helping people
remotely.

However, this may give me a social interest and help others. I am
prepared to further consider this if you can provide further
information.

Hoping that I can help. I Am,

Yours Sincerely,

Anthony W Johns.