Copyright (C) Anthony William Johns. Years 2002 To 2009.
34 Bishops Hill. Ipswich. Suffolk. IP3 8EN.
There is adult material on this page including foul language
and explicit sexual details. You need to be 18 years of age or over
to read this page. There are no links to visual imagery pornographic
material: or pornographic sites.
Some of the writings on these pages reflect the adapted mental state to 1991, where the author rejected religion. The author has changed mental state again and now feels that religion and science will take this life-form forward to eternal life.
Note.
This log has been going on for 13 years. Over this period of time the
author has been almost daily sexually profiled virtually where ever he
goes in Ipswich for political reason. The effect of this is horrendous,
this causes displayed lewd behaviour as chronicled below.
The mental impairment caused by the realisation of many resultant false positives that are realised by the author: this causes all sorts of phobias and changed sexual interests to appear, the not looking at faces and looking down at female breasts, looking down at men's lower parts, the being attracted to the backs of heads of people, and the backs and bottoms of people.
This mental impairment, the brain sees as adult abuse, also drives sexual interest down to children. This has only ever caused self masturbation by the author if pubescent children have offered him sex. The Author has no interest in having sex with children. This will never happen.
There is reference to the bad police in some parts of this diary, there are good honest police officers and corrupt very bad officers. Bad police officers will do anything for money, some will do unlawful things like planting drugs or planting child porn on computers to remove a political enemy: anything to get up that ladder.
This diary in it's entirety is seen to be useful to psychologists in the many adaptations as recorded.
Always down load these pages. In your browser: go to File and Save As.
The Stitch Up Gets Worse.
Friday. 21ST August. 2009.
8PM. I decided to sit on a seat in my garden, this faces away from the
adjacent flats. The objective was to read one of my journals. I heard
a car arrive on the car park, I read for an hour. When I finished
reading and stood up, the car started it's engine, as I was entering
the house I heard what appears to be the car driver shout to someone
in the flats wanker. At no time did I look at the flats.
Saturday. 22ND August. 2009.
11AM? I push biked in to Ipswich. In Fore Street there was the usual
ethnic stitch up, an ethnic woman with a push chair held her hand
up to indicate to the post office staff that I had looked at the
push chair. I turned in to Orwell Place and on to Tacket Street.
At the pedestrian crossing there was a woman with a push chair
waiting to cross. The child was pink. As I passed the woman she was
on a mobile and said 'he is looking at the baby now', this of course
was rubbish. In Sainsbury's and this day, there was no sexual attraction
to any person.
Sunday 23RD August. 2009.
Phobia.
I went to Cambridge for the day, a woman got on the train with a
very young boy child, I smiled at her as she held the boy approaching
me. Later the little boy came near me. I turned away ignoring him, the
woman was not pleased. There was no sexual attraction towards the
boy. In Cambridge I went to the open air pool, I did not enjoy the
swim, I had baggy swimming shorts on, this gives a lot of drag when
I swam. There was slight sexual attraction to a teenage boy as I
swam, he was back facing, short hair, tanned skin. I was a lot more
attracted to a young female lifeguard with unusual pure white blond
curly hair. I ate my pre-packed lunch in the nearby park. I cycled
on in to Cambridge.
Phobia.
I went to a Coop shop to buy a snickers bar and a beer. Outside the
shop a pink clad child came in to view, I looked away from her, the
child said weird. In the shop there was a pony tail child aged 13?
back facing, there was no sexual interest in this child's pony
tail.
I went to the nearby park to drink the beer and lay in the sun. I found a quiet spot away from people. There was footpath nearby and after a while people started walking along this footpath. I was attracted to some women with good figures, and one women pink clad that when profiled, she had the perfect breast shape that I like. I most certainly looked at her. Later, she passed again with a man, I looked but not for so long. I then realised the sudden increase in people could be engineered, I looked for the spotter. The spotter was a bouncer laying within 15 feet of me, looking at what I was looking at.
As I left the park, there was a group of people near the exit, two pony tailed back facing girls, I Ignored these people, there was no sexual interest. There was several tests at the Rail Station, I got a train to Ely to return to Ipswich. There were tests at Ely station entering Ely and leaving. I went in to Ely to buy another beer and another sweet bar.
I decided to go to Ely Cathedral, the building now does nothing for me, I remembered how I used to follow the ritual as a child and bow to the Alter cross, how silly and inappropriate this now seems. Currently, I now have a lot more respect for a similar ritual that I used to do, bowing as I entered the Do-go of an extreme Taekwondo Karate instructor 25 years ago. In the Cathedral the organ was playing, the choir was singing, I liked this as always, I waited a short while to try to hear the organist use the base pipe, the resonance from this is extreme in such a large building, this did not happen, I moved on.
The stained glass, the architecture, now did nothing for me, no awe, no respect. I had a quick look in a building door way near the entrance, this was obligatory toy shop, gifts to take away. More planet destroying crap for the boot sale next year.
When I cycled up Bishops Hill there were 2 bouncers in a car in the access road for the Church on Bishops Hill near Myrtle Road near my house. A bit further on there was a woman walking, I passed her, I did not look at her, no sexual interest, as I approached my house I realised there was a man following me. He did not follow me up the access path to my house.
Monday 24TH August. 2009.
I worked all day at home.
Notes.
My Sexual interests are now approaching what I feel are correct,
apart from the slight sexual interest, ( Induced since 1996 ), in
some teenage boys. The induced interest in pink clad children has
gone, Overall, I like to look at young children, there is no sexual
interest. The induced phobias are a real problem, however, I can
live with them. I do not like to look at the backs of men's heads,
often, I look down to the ground nearby behind a man, with no
interest in his bottom. I am pleased that I now hold my head up most
of the time when walking along pavements.
I have been sexually profiled for 13 years by principally the local college for political reasons as fully chronicled on previous pages of this log. This has caused me to ogle the profilers, women, to screw their heads up, they would think that I was fantasising about them. This was not so.
About three months ago I ogled some large breasted white clad women near my house, I thought they were from the college. I now believe they were local women. I now believe a Mr. Crisp thought that I was ogling his wife, he has harassed me, I was concerned about him, and looking up at his flat. I think his wife thought that I was looking at her. This was not so. Mr. Crisp should have approached me about this in a different manner to the way he chose.
The recording of this note may not be chronologically correct.
The following should be event that happened in the previous week, however the week may be wrong. It was when the weather was extremely hot. I stayed in the house for a few days because a MR. Crisp at the flats, number 66 had shouted to me to stay in the house and not come out in to the garden.
Crisp was also playing loud music that I felt was aimed at me, I believe the group is Busted. Part of the lyrics are, 'I've got you, I want you dead and gone.' This was played every time I went in to the garden. I wrote to Ipswich Borough Council who are the landlord for his flat. I felt IBC came the same day when the music was loud and Crisp may have had a warning or been given eviction notice.
As I was housebound a lot of the time, the weather was very hot, there was very little air circulating in my house, all the windows are locked, excluding one small window upstairs that is open in the summer. I keep the ground floor windows locked, however, there is a small window in my bathroom that I opened to circulate air that I felt was stale. This window faces the flats, I heard a child say 'mummy he looked at me,' I was in the toilet facing this frosted window. I had not looked up at the flats. After this, a man shouted pervert from the flats.
Sunday 30TH August. 2009.
I went to Portman Road Boot sale, quite a few tests there, ignored
them all, no failures, bouncer observing, black leather jacket,
shorts. In the afternoon I went to see a friend at Kesgrave, I felt
there was a test near his house with a 9? year old girl, wearing
school clothes, I took no notice of her, no sexual interest, I
heard a fast action camera wind on about twice a second as I passed
her, police forensics? On the return journey there was a pink clad
child aged 11? approaching me with her mother, I took no interest
in the girl or her mother, no sexual interest. There was a spotter
in a car nearby.
Monday 31ST August. 2009.
Stayed at home, worked.
Tuesday 1ST September. 2009.
I cycled to see my friend at Kesgrave, on the way I found myself
approaching a girl aged 16? cycling ahead, I passed her, slight
sexual interest. On the return journey, surprise surprise, I found
myself cycling behind a boy racing along standing on his pedals
pointing his bottom towards me. I passed him, no sexual interest.
This has gone, thank goodness.
Wednesday 2ND September. 2009.
Stayed at home, worked.
Thursday 3RD September. 2009.
I went in to Ipswich to do some shopping, I called at the council
offices to ask about a replacement bus ticket that I had lost. When
I left the building and walked towards Princess Street my head was
down, a fabulous pair of black stockinged legs came in to view, I
looked up the legs the black clad body was just as good, I stared at
the woman's face, I thought this was a test? Age 25? not a bad looking
face. Two men nearby said, nice one. I think this was an official
psychology test.
A W JOHNS. 34 BISHOPS HILL. RECORDED DELIVERY. IPSWICH. SUFFOLK. DW 6947 5365 2GB IP38EN. Ipswich Borough Council. Grafton House 15-17 Russell Rd, Ipswich, IP1 2DE 01473 432 000 Dated. 03 09 2009 REF /09/0950.TXT 01473 281769 valfet@ntlworld.com Copies with Mr. Crisp and some neighbours. Subject. Perversion, paranoia, ignorance, arrogance, jealousy. I have lived in this house since 1991, I never talked or mixed with many people in the adjacent flats because there has always been noise, particularly arguments, there has been thieves, drugs dealers, one flat burnt out, this I believe was drugs induced. I was friendly with one man in the flats, he still lives there, I helped him, however, he stole from me, so I stopped him coming to my house. I have been on talking terms, just hello, how are you? just small talk with two other men who live in the flats. I come from Norfolk, however, I have very little reverence for Norfolk because of my child abuse there. In Suffolk I have never been really happy either. The only place that I have happy memories of is Lowestoft, where as a child I have happy holiday memories. About two years ago I talked to a Mr. Crisp who lives in the flats number 66 I was not having a good time and I told him that I came from Norfolk, and did not like Suffolk people, I told him that my rent is cheap, probably cheaper than his, I also told him that I was on pension credit, and registered with mental illnesses. I probably get more money than him. I also said I work hard on various projects, some of which help people understand mental illness. Mr. Crisp was not the person to tell this all too. After this I was in my garden and I heard Mr. Crisp say my father worked X amount of years, look at that lazy bastard. You can hear a pin drop in those flats at my house, and over the last three months the shouting and arguments seem to revolve around me. Crisp is friendly with some people nearer to the back of my house on the same floor.The Cesspool And The Secret Armies. Page 466.
What I did not say to Crisp is that when I moved in this house the garden was completely overgrown with trees, old washing machines cookers, etc. Also, that I have done a lot of work in the house installing central heating. The previous long list of tenants never paid rent, trashed the place, one pervert peering through my neighbours front window, booze parties, and a bath when cleaned that my landlady thought: this was new bath. The bugs were gassed by the council before I moved in. I have often heard Crisp say he's a pervert, I believe, referring to me, to the people that live near me, a family on the same floor as Crisp, and their young children. I have heard continuous arguments from the parents of the children where the man is saying shouting he's a pervert, the woman shouting no he is not. This stopped about three weeks ago when Crisp became a real problem to me. Crisp wanted me to stay in the house, and not come out, he was also playing loud music, I wrote to the council complaining of this and his general behaviour. I understand from recent information from another tenant that Crisp made life so unbearable with noise for adjacent fully employed hard working council tenants, they moved out. The female tenant nearly had a nervous breakdown. Please check on people that have lived near Crisp and moved out, why? Coming back to the arguing family near me as to whether I am a pervert or not, this was very loud, this frightened the children, and I heard them say mummy he is looking at me when I was outside: when I was not looking at the children I never have done this. The children I feel are now very frightened of me because of their parents arguing citing me, and through this fear they will say I am looking at them when this is not so. Over the last three months I have looked up at Crisps flat from my kitchen because I was concerned about him. I think he may have felt I was looking at his wife this was not so. Recently sitting in my garden working, facing west, away from the flats. I heard crisps wife say I don't mind him sitting facing that way. I assumed she meant me. Recently, I started walking in my garden looking down all the time, this seemed to please Crisp, my impression is he likes to control people. Well, I am not prepared to walk around my garden with my head down like a manic depressive just to please this man. Yesterday, this started to create a phobia. I started to look west away from the flats as I walked to my bins to put rubbish out. In the last week Crisp and a man have been on their balcony observing me, I can hear them say no if I walk in my garden with my head down, and yes if my head is up looking ahead, not up at the flats. I am not prepared to be bullied by this control freak and his friends, I would accept it if I was in fault, however, there has been no sexual attraction to any people in these flats. I have work to do in my garden, hedges trimmed, a fence repair, general maintenance that I have not been able to do. I am now going to do this. I carried out a quick fence repair today. I am now going to do the rest of the work. I am hoping that I can set up a meeting with the lady of the family that lives near me, and Mary, Crisps new wife. The men I feel are too emotional for a sensible meeting at the moment. Three people I know that live in the flats say crisp is trouble, keep away from him. I may be wrong, but I feel Crisp is trying to incite a person or persons to attack me because of his jealousy. He is certainly nasty enough to do this. I will keep you advised, I am, Yours Sincerely. Anthony W Johns.
Saturday 5TH September. 2009.
At night I heard the couple who live near me on the third floor
arguing, I went upstairs to listen at the frosted window in case the
argument involved me. I think they saw my profile move against the
frosted window. This has not helped in any possible future
relationship with them. When I went in my kitchen, I heard the woman
shout,'he's bloody there now.' I did laugh at this.
Sunday 6TH September. 2009.
I went to see Alec and Janet friends. Janet bent over in a test I
failed it by looking at her bottom. I heard Alec shout piss off
as I left, this depressed me all evening. Salvador, a man that lives
in the flats spoke to me from the third floor balcony ,I looked up
and replied. Salvador has not spoken from the flats for months, I
was pleased that he spoke.
Monday 7TH September. 2009.
In the morning my friend Alec phoned to say the computer that I
had repaired had failed. He was annoyed with me for ogling his wife
saying that he hoped the computer failure would depress me. Well
he certainly did depress me. During the day I heard the children
at number 30 laughing and enjoying themselves, I turned my head for
a short while as I walked to hear this, I like to hear children happy.
There was a reaction from the flats, I heard someone say did you
see that? There was then further discussion there.
I worked outside in the evening, Mr. Crisp at 66, a flat that overlooks my house said to men that were near him go down there and give him a good kicking, I think that he was referring to me. Salvador spoke again in the evening from the third floor, I looked up and replied.
Tuesday 8TH September. 2009.
I had a dental appointment at 10AM with Mr. Mathews. I expected
psychologists to be there as usual. As I entered the waiting room
there was a white clad woman seated on my right. There was a chair
in the corner behind another woman, I sat there looking away from
her: there was no sexual interest.
When I returned to the waiting room I expected tests this caused me to enter the room with my head down. I kept it down, a woman's bottom came in to view. I turned and faced the receptionists wall still with my head down. The woman's bottom was still in view at the extremity of my viewing area. When she moved I brought my head up and approached the receptionist. I woman exclaimed pervert. I looked straight at the receptionist as I talked to her. There was a very slight interest in the woman's bottom that was near me before she moved: this would be normal for most men, however, this was not the reason for keeping my head down.
My head was down because of my assessment of the continuous sexual profiling where ever I go that has now been going on for 13 years because of my local anti government internet publications. In these notes is my assessment of past tests in this dental practise. These people have adapted my mental state to the negative to extreme. The intention is to drive me to suicide, violence, or to be killed.
I left the dental surgery depressed, I went to Maplin's Electronics shop in Carr Street. I was looking through a catalogue, I heard a bang to the right of me, I looked it was Kevin the manager of the shop, he must have closed a drawer and opened another. I hesitated as I looked at him bending over trying to decide whether to go and see him to ask if he had down loaded my electronics book from my site valfet.com that we had discussed a few days earlier.
I decide I would see him as I left the shop. I went to the component serving area to see if some parts were in that I had ordered, they had not arrived. I had difficulty getting a folder back in my bag this made me angry, I swore and took the bag near the corner of the shop, kneeled down, and put the folder back in the bag. As I was doing this I was aware of a man close by, black clad, I was weary of this and looked at him, all I can remember seeing was black whether this was his legs or bottom I do not know. No sexual interest. The man asked Kevin to witness the event. I left Maplin's and went to Wilkinson's in Upper Brook Street to buy kitchen roll.
By the time I arrived at Wilkinson's from the direction I rarely use to approach this shop, I was very depressed with events this day and I can only describe this as being in a fog a very confused mental state. I looked back, I thought there was a place on the far side of Wilkinson's for a bike. There was a school girl, in school uniform aged 14? in my path of vision. There was no sexual interest, I parked my bike, I walked back past the girl head up ignoring her and walked in to Wilkinson's through their exit door. I have sometimes walked in to the store through this exit door before.
What's this? The start of another phobia, will I run away from school girls in school uniform now? Turn away from every school girl that I see?
On the way home, I realised this was probably another failed test. This then became very mentally destructive, depression and anger. The only good part of the day, I passed a pink clad good figure woman, and I did not look at her, she was pleased and said 'hooray' this pleased me, a little bit of positive future. Pink at a lower sexual interest level in pink with women is still the primary interest colour.
In the evening I worked outside in the garden repairing a gate for my neighbour, my back was towards the flats. Mr. Crisp at 66 was playing music loud and I heard him try to incite friends to come down in my garden and give me a good kicking. I went in to the house and brought a concealed knife in to the garden, I thought, well, if you are going to go for it, get on with it, I am ready for it.
Wednesday 9TH September. 2009.
I think that I stayed in all day. In the Evening I spoke with David
Miles, the phone is bugged however, I do not care what I say, as what
I say is always truthful. We discussed our past sexual encounter
and my anger at in my assessment of being taken advantage of, and
David's fear at the time that I was going to cut his penis off.
I also stated that the bastards, meaning the psychologists, this abuse had driven my sexual interests down to children. This is published further back in this diary. As also published prior, I have no interest in sexualising children, neither do I fantasise about children that I see. We discussed Sarah my X girlfriend, I said that I did not miss the sex I missed the love and cuddles. There was a lot of hooting from cars behind my house as I put the phone down, I feel this was the police, they have been there for about a week.
In the last week when I walk outside in my garden I do not look up at the flats as I have always done, I hear a man say no. I can also hear this when I look out of my kitchen window, not looking at the flats, but looking at the trees that I like. I have also heard men say no when I return to my house and walk down the path. Also I hear car doors bang every time I go in to the garden to work, presumably police taking up observation positions.
In the evening I spoke to Pat my neighbour, I gave Pat a camera to photograph the men that were threatening me in the flats when I worked outside on her garden gate. As expected, this was the most quiet night for a long time, you could hear a pin drop. Nice one Pat, bush telegraph is working well.
Thursday 10TH September. 2009.
9.55AM. A very loud alarm went off in the flats, this started to
annoy me after a few minutes, the noise appeared to come from
Crisps flat, I looked at his flat for a few seconds. Afterwards, I
realised this was probably a portable police alarm. Nice one, nice
stitch up. I spoke to Pat about this, she heard it too and went
out in her back garden to look up at the flats.
Mid morning I spoke to Debbie, Pat's Daughter ,I thought Pat was with her at the bottom of my garden. Pat was out for the day. While I was talking to Debbie, I heard two men talking on the other side of the fence. One man said he is a pervert, the other man said that was quick. I assumed they were referring to the failed psychology tests on Tuesday, ( a couple of days ago. ) Later in the day I heard a woman say he is a pervert, he does no know it. I assumed they were talking about me and the psychology tests.
I went and saw my friends Alec and Janet in the afternoon to do a computer repair. I apologised to Alec for ogling his wife's bottom. Alec stated, well, we all do it. I said that I was not interested in Janet. Janet had asked me last Monday to help her in the garden. Alec knew this, I stated if I was interested in Janet I would have rushed to help her, not refused. I asked Alec to apologise to Janet. I also stated if Janet is uncomfortable with me, we are all going out next Sunday, I do not want to go if this in any way makes Janet feel uncomfortable. Alec said he would not discuss this with Janet.
In the evening there were kids shouting and enjoying themselves behind my house, I was working in my workshop, the curtains are drawn, so I could not see them. I think I went in to my kitchen that also faces the car park, children cannot be seen from any of the ground floor windows or garden facing the car park, or to the right of my garden.
Friday 11TH September. 2009.
The police have gone, Very quiet no car doors banging when I go
outside, only one car on the car park. I went and saw Pat she
had a black jumper on, I think this was significant. We went down to
where the gate is going to be fitted, Pat made a bashing movement
with her arm moving back and forth, fist clenched, looking towards
Crisps flat, Pat usually holds her ear as a paedophile gesture
when facing the flats when I am with her.
I went shopping in Ipswich, I passed what I feel is the black man at the flats on the hill, he was very smartly dressed. In Sainsbury's there was a large video display above the check out area, I looked it was displaying children, there was no sexual interest. One of the staff was observing me, she said yes to a colleague. In the evening the kids were playing on the car park, I was in the kitchen head down, I heard a man say: that's stopped him looking.
Saturday 12TH September. 2009.
I went and collected my mail just after 9AM from my mail box. I
heard a man say no, a car door slammed. I assume there are cameras
on the flats balconies, good, just what we need. A pity they have not
been there before: this would have proved the kids lying about me
looking at them: if my assessment in this is correct. I have been
keeping an eye on the car park behind my house, I go upstairs and
look out of the window for about a second, covering my face to the
right, so I cannot see in Pats garden, or any other garden to the
right. I do not look up to the flats.
There was a police car at the flats at about 12PM today. Shawn, a man I need to see, his van is now on the car park. I can be heard walking upstairs on bare floor boards, I do not use these rooms. I heard a child scream today as I briefly looked out of the window at just before 1PM. I want to talk with Shawn, and ask him a couple of questions, and then pass him a copy of this web page to give to the black guy and his wife.
As soon as I came down the stairs the loud music started from Mr. Crisp, heard very loud in my house, I Need A Hero, Bonnie Tyler. I think he was playing this for number 30 that's where I think the scream came from. My house is bugged, I would have been heard going upstairs on bare boards, I told Pat that I go upstairs to keep an eye on the car park to see who is there.
Number 30 have probably been given a police forensic camera, the guy is a hero, he got a photograph oh me looking out of the window. Shawn's van was in the far right corner of the car park. I had to look towards the garden of 30, however, with my face covered I could not see in to the garden of 30.
I went and saw Shawn, As soon as I walked out of the door to see Shawn: the music started loud. The Final Countdown By Europe. I spoke to Shawn's son, I asked him whether I was officially recorded as a pervert this week? He did not know. I then said is Crisp going to beat me up? He replied he did not know, he has nothing to do with Crisp. I apologised for waisting his time. I said this must just be paranoia on my part.
I went to fit Pat's Gate late in the afternoon. Pat was out, I was rather exposed, alone, so I fitted it quick, as I returned through my gate I heard Mary, Crisps Wife, say to people that had now arrived,'He looked', but it was very quick. I think she was referring to me looking out of the window earlier.
Notes.
I am sure my neighbour Pat is involved in all this, I would never
attack Pat or hurt her in any way.
Pat does not believe that I fell in love with Hayley, Pat thinks that I just wanted Hayley's sex, this is not true. Pat had a pervert peer in her front window, Pat was also frightened by a pervert, a flasher in Holliwells Park and did not use the park for 10 years. I still love you Hayley, A. Because you help create an extreme science book B. I hurt you, this was not intentional. Please contact me.
The Final Countdown. was evidence being collected for a police prosecution? The final countdown until enough evidence is collected, + the stitch up evidence, I doubt this. I doubt it would have stood up in court. I think the police were just going through the motions to record me as a pervert on data bases. However, if there was a court case all the vultures would be there. It would probably have made the front page of the Evening Star newspaper. I am not liked there either.
Psychology is not exact, If I had kept looking out of my upstairs window at the car park, particularly the right hand side, could this have been presented as evidence?
The black man smartly dressed, had all the people at the flats been in a meeting with the police this day to discuss the problem that these neighbours had created with their stupidity? The police publication that I was a pervert if this was so, in my assessment, should not have been. These are violent people. Three times looking up at the flats this week, two for Salvador, one for the alarm, I would imagine the photographs are excellent.
I spoke with Pat this day about the new law coming in regards further protection of children from paedophiles. The Independent Safeguarding Authority.
I stated that I felt that this was overdoing it. I said I bet the registration fees are a nice little earner for the government. I checked this out, 64 pounds to register A total of 11.3 million people will need to register, that generates just over 723 million pounds for the government, and one assumes that registration needs to be every 5 years. Good old Gordon, he always has his eye on an an earner. Would he be so keen on this if there was no money in it?
If this is introduced, there will be quite a few stranded kids where if a registered person if they are delayed in picking up a child cannot easily get someone else to do it. How long before a stranded child that stays or walks home is raped or murdered?
I spoke to a man this week that has little regard for women's intelligence, or lack of due to their interests that for most women evolve around soaps, kids, house and even more television.
Many women also read novels. Most men are not so interested in such things. So many men have a double life, male friends and homosexuality that the wife is not aware of. This gives an escape for many men in to an intelligent arena far different and more compatible than the mundane silliness at home.
The evolutionary advantage is that many such men will pass on their genes with this dual sexuality: increasing the gene pool.
The fault is the lying, sneakiness, to cover up, to hide this homosexual interest, however, epidemic lying by all races of our species is the main faulty driver presently increasing the gene pool thus taking our species forward to it's destruction: or eternal life.
I was so impressed by the Europe video I watched it quite a few times yesterday, the video is awesome. The professionalism of the whole presentation, the build up of the video at the start, the professionalism of the video presentation, the complexity of the everybody working together. The pyrotechnics, the lighting, the dynamics, the aggression, the emotion, the rush of Adrenalin of the guys on stage.
The amazing guitar work, the lyrics, the sexy portrayal and good looks of the lead singer, his voice, his aura for the want of a better word, as I am not in to the paranormal, reminded me of Freddy Mercury. The drummer was extreme, the mass hysteria and portrayal of the rush for the fans that could be there at this time in the audience. Awesome, almost unbelievable.
I watched the video again today, to study the whole presentation, it made me cry, the struggle through the professionalism in art, and sport, and in other mediums that our species is going through to get to Utopia in compatible brain program for all, where then, 'After The Final Countdown:' the meek will inherit the earth. Study the video see if you can see what I saw, and the effect it had on me. The Final Countdown By Europe.
If we get to Utopia for our species, possibly through my hypotheses for, 'The Armageddon,' our species will have no contemplation for the emotions in art, sport, argument, violence, competition, that we have today, boring for our way of life, perfect for them. They will find difficulty in believing how they evolved through such primitiveness at the start of the 21ST Century: and of preceding times.
My thoughts return to Sarah, All those love songs we enjoyed in compatible brain program as we laid in bed cuddling, Sarah with one arm round me, the other arm holding her pint of cyder that she could soon drink: and soon get another refill: kissing between sips, my arms both around her. Love songs, Always been my interest, lyrics, they have to be good, along with the whole music presentation. Good of course is a personal assessment and impression based on childhood and adult experience.
Love songs, Sarah's choice was exactly to my liking, I would often buy her love song disks that she liked, I copied them and found for my ears they were fantastic, really good presentations and lyrics. I heard Mr. Crisp play some Hip Hop that I did not like, I do not like garage, and only a little rave music. Most other music I like including some chamber and orchestral. I heard Mr. Crisp state that he thought I liked Hip Hop music meaning paedophiles, well, he got that wrong along with much of his assessment of me.
Most of my recent last three year favourites that Sarah and I enjoyed have I have collected are in the CD list below. Most of the Cd's came from boot sales. I do not play computer audio, compressed data MP3, Ogg Vorbis Etc. is inferior quality. However, some of the Cd's are badly engineered with poor sound quality.
The CD List.
1. One Republic dreaming out loud 2. Destiny's Child survivor 3. Destiny's Child Destiny Fulfilled 4. Rhianna Good Girl Gone Bad 5. Rhianna A Girl Like Me 6. Leona Lewis Spirit. 7. Kyle Minogue Hits + 8. Mariah Carey Unplugged. 9. Mariah Carey Music Box 10.Nirvana Never Mind 11.Mike And The Mechanics Hits 12.Destiny's Child The Writing On The Wall. 13.All Saints No Title 14.Macy Gray How Life Is 15 Pink Floyd Pulse 16.Sarah McLachlan 17.Afterglow --- Missing 18.Pussycatdolls PCD 19.You Me And Us. Martine McCutcheon 20.Eternal Greatest Hits 21.Natalie Imbrugalia 22.Pulse Different Class 23.Detta Goodram Innocent Eyes 24.Mariah Carey Day Dream 25.Whitney Houston I'm Your Baby Tonight 26.Elkie Brooks Inspiration 27.Gloria Estaphan Cuts Both Ways 28.Tina Turner Foriegn Affair 29.Queen Greatest Hits 3 30.Madonna Ray Of Light 31.Robbie Williams Life Thru A Lens 32.S Club 8 Sundown 33.Anastacia Got That Kind. 34.Rowan Keeting 10 Years of hits. 35.Celene Dion, A new day has come. 36.Lee Ann Rymes Best Off. 37.Celene Dion, Falling in to you. 38.Rianna, A girl Like Me. 39.Steps Stepacular. 40.Rowan keeting ? 41.Scissor sisters. 42.Michael Bolton Vintage. 43.Witney Houston. I'm your baby tonight 44.Quincy Jones Exodus. 45.John Coltraine My Favourite Things. 46.Martine McCutcheon Wishing. 47.Misteeq ? 48.Milton Jones ? 49.Gabrielle. Rise. 50.Gabrielle. Dreams Can Come True. 51.Sheryl Crowe. Tuesday Club------ Missing 52.Celine Dion, Lets Talk About Love. 53.Celine Dion, The colour Of my love 54.The Prodigy Experiance? 55.Cher. Heart Of Stone. 56.New Woman, 39 Love Songs 57.Something in the air. Various. 58.Art Garfunkal Best Of. 59.Janet Jackson Design Of A decade. 60.Gloria Estaphan. Hold Me Thrill me Kiss Me. 61.Steps Buzz 62.Steps Greatest Hits. 63.Bruce Springstean. Streets Of Philidelphia. 64.Whitny Houston. I will always love you. 65.S club 7 7" 66.Katie Melua. Piece By Piece. 67.Spice Girls. Wannabe. End of first listing. Starting again 23 03 09 68.MamaMia movie sound track. 69 Blue One Love. 70 5 Star Silk And Steel. 71.Queen Greatest Hits 1. 72.Celine Dion Unison. 73.Mike And The Mechanics. Rewired. 74.Alana Miles. Still Got This Thing. 75.Tiffany. Should Have Been Me. 76.Pink Floyd. A Momentary Lapse Of Reason. 77.Mike And The Mechanics. 78.Rowan Keating ? 79.Boyzone By Request. 80.Alana Morissette. The Collection. 81.Sheryl Crowe. Sheryl Crowe: Is the Title. Bookmarked. 82.Pink Floyd. Pulse. 83.Franz Ferdinand. ? 84.Scissor Sisters.? 85.Shane Ward. 86.Sugar Babes. 87.Boyzone. Said And Done.
I have a Vinyl collection 1000 vinyl albums ruined by slight dampness and paper sleeves, Favourite Rock Selection mostly with good lyrics, the projected art of the artists, the guitar work and lyrics that I like, Hendrix, Clapton, Stephen Stills, Nazareth, Bob Seger, Bob Dylan, Robert Plant. AC/DC, Alice Cooper, Alan Parsons Project, April Wine, Asia.
AC/DC From Powerage, good lyrics, drumming, emotional singing,
fantastic guitar work.
AC/DC Sin City.
Favourate guitarist Nils Lofgrin. Eric Clapton, Peter Frampton, Particularly the Album: Frampton comes alive.
Favourite Drummers, Ginger Baker, Phil Collins.
Ginger Baker.
Favourite percussionist. Classic coverage of Ray Cooper
percussionist, Layla, Eric Clapton. Cooper known as Dr.Death
who did the percussion for Elton John on most of his albums.
Another guy with mental disorders by the look of it, awesome,
watch this guy, magic, mad as a hatter, love the guy.
For people that do not know what a percussionist is or
Percussion Instruments
are, he's the guy with the big drums, tambourine, and hitting
the big circular brass.
Ray Cooper.
Favourite lyrics and guitar work. Eric Clapton, 5 Albums.
Most loved Guitar work on Free Bird, Leonard Skinnard.
Love the piano work too.
Awesome guitar work towards the end of the piece with
drumming. Manic.
Leonard Skinnard.
Favourite keyboards player, Rick Wakeman. Magic.
Rick Wakeman.
Most impressive pop artist and lyrics, as they evolved over 20 years, Elton John. 24 Albums.
Others, Dire Straits Love Over Gold, Brothers in Arms, favourite track, Telegraph Road.
Electric Light Orchestra 4 albums Fantastic Lyrics and presentation, Lyrics mainly by Jeff Lynne.
Pink Floyd, 5 Albums.
Eagles, Hotel California, Title Track.
Eagles, Hotel California.
John Lennon 4 Albums.
Behind The Mask, Eric Clapton.
opening shot, Pianist, Jules Holland. Drummer Phil Collins.
Eric Clapton.
Favourate Harmonica player Stevie Wonder.
Stevie Wonder.
Favourite black females love/emotion, Tracy Chapman. Joan Armatrading.
Jazz. Average White Band, Brass Construction.
Favourite Saxophonist piece, Barbara Thompson, Little Annie Oooh.
Barbara Thompson.
Jazz. Anita O'day, I paid 20 pounds for a special release album of
Anita O'day's, work on vinyl 3 years ago.
Anita O'day.
Favourite Female Singers too Numerous to mention, just a few, Anne Lennox, Tina Turner, Barbera Dixon, Lisa Stansfield, Elkie Brooks.
Favourite Scottish Singer Sheena Easton.
Wacky, brilliant, fantastic, weird and wonderful, The facial
expressions and the eyes, absolute.
Kate Bush Wuthering Heights.
Kate Bush.
Even more Wackey Kate Bush: But Brilliant. Wuthering Heights.
Like the setting, the trees, back drop, how she keeps her
footing on such rough terrain?
Kate Bush.
Wacky, Different, Guitar work is good. Wait for the singing. The best bit of the singing, the last 5 minutes is missing off the video. Focus, Hamberger Concerto. Focus Hamberger Concerto.
Favourite Folk Bands. The Albion Band, All About Eve.
Favourite Irish groups, Clanad. Enya, Irish Vocalist.
Punk. Boom Town Rats. Pulp
Pulp Common People.
Favourite, Opera Singer
Gigli, Beats Mario Lanza, Pavarotti. More Emotion.
Gigli-1 -:-
Gigli-2. -:-
Mario Lanza. -:-
Pavarotti.
Favourite violinist, Pinchas Zuckerman.
Pinchas Zuckerman.
Classics Andrew Lloyd Webber, + A lot of other classical music.
Favourate and most professional dance musical, Michael Jackson
Thriller. Jackson, most reverred male dancer, group dancing, and
choreography in the dance scene of the dance timing, 8 Minutes in
to the video
Michael Jackson Thriller.
The Vinyl Collection is in alphabetical order, here is a few Rhythm and Blues Titles from the A section. Abba, Alison Moyet. Al Green, Al Stewart, America.
Abba records X 4. 3 are badly engineered crap recordings. Only one is very good.
Favourite Films had to be seen in the time period for effect, The Wall, Pink Floyd. Airplane. All time film favourites for me that do not age, Star Wars, Terminator 1,2,3, The Matrix. TV Sci-fi, the original Dr. Who's, The Original, Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy, courtesy of Douglas Adams. Red Dwarf.
Favourite stupid , I love stupid commedians, Harry Worth, Tommy Cooper, Rowan Atkinson. Black Adder, Mr. Bean. Steve Martin, particularly, the man with 2 brains. The Man With Two Brains. -:- Tommy Cooper.
Favourite love film, Titanic.
Favourite cartoons, Bugs Life, Shreck, most of Disney,
Favourite musical Grease.
Bleeding From The Eyes.
I have not bled for years, crying, when I was coming out of my nervous breakdown, I cried at the created imagination of a woman being raped. Crying, crying recently at the desperation of our life form in it's struggle to find the truth, the perfection so desired. I recorded the following in one of my books, one of the versions of Programming Basic For Eternal Life, this should be down loadable on line.
I recorded how I cried at the sight of a black child on television, malnutrition-ed, starving, dying, hopeless, the expression on his face, the desperation, the hopelessness, the depression, accompanied by the music of Drive By The Cars. I searched for the video on YouTube, I could not find it. The desperation: still in much of Africa today.
In approximately 1990 I saw in Ipswich a print of a young black boy that absolutely shocked me, mention of this image is also in one of the versions of the prior mentioned book. I bought the print and hung it in my office. This large print 650mm height (25.5 Inch) 450mm wide (17.5 Inch). This print I now know is by a very reverred Jamaican Rastafarian artist. Rass Daniel Haartman. Hartman, born in to and risen from desperation?
The ageing on this child without love, mostly hate, of a disgusting life style and poor nutrition is absolutely shocking. I have now hung the picture on the wall in my hall where a wall clock was that I just swapped for a computer this week that is now more important to me.
The full profiled picture adds even more awareness of the pitifulness of this boys plight in the boys dark clothes. I photographed the boys head, 16 09 08. See the ageing of the face, he is an old man. The lines around his eye lids and under his eyes, the line and lines on his cheeks and chin, lower chin may be scars. I was very thankful that I was not born as this boy, and had this boys young life. 'It could have been you.' Haartman called the boy, 'Prince Emanuel.' and titled the work, 'Church Triumphant'.
Saturday 12TH September 2009.
I spoke with my sister, after this I telephoned my youngest daughter,
she turned the phone off. I expected this after the what I had done
to her sister and my grandchildren recently to pay them back for the
phenomenal mental damage they had inflicted on me over the last 13
years: and the infliction of mental damage by my grandchildren over
the last six years. I will write to them. I very effectively and
deliberately killed off my family. How could I now become so nasty
and vicious? You will presently see.
Sunday 13TH September 2009.
Friends picked me up at 1PM we went to Martlesham to what's left
of RAF Martlesham Airfield, it was the open day. It was a good
afternoon, I liked the fly past of the
Dakota Vintage Aeroplane.
vigorously waving back and laughing with excitement to the guy that
was in a side door way of the plane 300 feet up. A woman moved near
me I briefly looked at her back and the back of her head, she said
wanker to an older woman. The older woman said, 'quiet he can hear
you', I should have asked to shake the woman's hand that made the
utterance. I respect, and she is entitled to her opinion.
There was a demo of defence from the watch tower, there was some American officer who explained his wonderful life, he was going to a war theatre again somewhere. he stated, 'we are going to kick arse', project IGI again, 'I'm Going In'. Well, most of the insurgencies and wars that the Americans have been in to have been disastrous. I do not think that they have won any of them. A lot of teenage girls in RAF Uniform. There was no feeling of warm reminiscence of my youngest daughter when she was in RAF uniform.
The friends I was with Male 75, wife, 65. he brought my attention to the young teenage girls wearing very short skirts and low tops, saying it's normal for men to be attracted to such girls, they did look good. They went down in to the bomb shelter, I looked at one girl as she walked down the steps displaying nice breasts and a low top, she said perv. I wanted to go the bomb shelter to see it. I waited for the girls to come out, waited a few minutes no appearance. I went down, the girls were back facing in a very small bomb shelter,
I remarked how small the shelter was, I was surprised at the small size. Obviously there were many such shelters over what was at the time a very large airfield. I doubt I stayed in the bomb shelter for more than 10 seconds. I remembered introducing my youngest daughter to a man in his late twenties that liked young teenage girls when she was aged 13, 25 years ago. I said this is my youngest daughter, her name is Miss Jail Bait. We all smiled, he got the message.
When we returned to Alec's car, we had to get on to a fast bit of road, difficult, a bend, I was looking for a break in the traffic, there was a break in the traffic, I said OK, the vehicle started to move, then a car appeared on the road ,there was plenty of time to avoid the car, however I exclaimed, 'Hit it Alec, Hit it Alec, I said I wanted to feel the thrust as I was pushed back in the seat.
I nearly added I wanted to feel the skin move on my face, I thought 0 to 60 in 3.5. However, I thought this statement might be overdoing it. Alec Takes The Mickey out of me quite a bit, and I with him. Alec has a Rover Maestro, I asked whether this car had the dated 1935 engine with the old SU Carburetter. Alec replied no, it's a Japanese car. The memory of SU Carburettors that I had problems with on. Morris Minor Van. -:- Austin Minni's. -:- A Triumph 2000 - with a matched pair of SU's that had to be set up correctly for maximum performance, An Austin Princess. And finally, An Austin Maestro.
Monday 14TH September. 2009.
I went in to town, in Fore Street I sighted a large breasted full
figure woman, white clad woman, aged 30? I did not look at her, I
was very attracted to her. I did not look directly at her in case
she was very local to me. Another induced phobia.
Approaching Fore Street post office there was a woman on the right,
back facing age 25? Red pony tail, slight attraction, never looked
directly, shot off the path before I reached her, I was going fast
on my push bike, somebody said.'did you see that.'
In town near the Buttermarket, I was looking down, a pair of black painted shoes came in to view, at an odd angle, walking slow, I felt it was a test, always an indicator. I slowly looked up the woman's legs, body, to her face, age 30? I felt this was definitely a test. Hardly any sexual interest. As I looked away I heard a man say to an associate, 'he's getting worse,' I wish he would go away. Well, I wish you would go away,' I wish I could go away: but not where the authorities want to put me. Coming back, Fore Street, Lord Nelson Pub, Slim woman aged 25? White clad smaller breasts, an attraction but not as much as the large breasted woman earlier. No interest in the stream of men that immediately followed the woman. College lot!?
Wednesday 16TH September. 2009.
I went to Sainsbury's I sighted a clear check out, back facing girl,
someone said yes, the girl said,'I thought he was dead'. Paranoia
of this lot, obviously told that I fantasise about what I see, well,
that's not so. When I left the store I looked at two large women,
large breasts with push chairs in Carr Street both in their 30's
one woman black clad, one woman pink clad, slight attraction. Part
of this attraction was looking for Sarah and her Sister. Donna, her
sisters daughter could have a child by now.
Thursday. 17TH September. 2009.
I cried a bit in the morning, still emotional, became angry in the
afternoon, mood swings. I went to Asda in the late afternoon, I felt
there was a test just before the RFCA Centre, Yarmouth Road, with
a pink clad girl aged 10? long hair, side facing as I approached,
back facing as I passed I did not look, no sexual interest. There
was a man with a camera further on.
Usual tests in Asda, is it a test syndrome? I cannot stop this, If I think it's a test a look very quickly, at, and then away, with my eyes. I looked at women that I was attracted to as I came back through Westgate Street and the Buttermarket. In the evening I heard the black guy in the flats arguing with his partner, Was he talking about me? I heard him shout, 'I saw him, I know what I saw.' So, what did he see?
Friday. 18TH September. 2009.
Mode flip to high today, in a very good mode. Accentuated, false.
I went in to town at 2:30 PM. As I passed the College in Fore Street,
at the traffic lights a young black clad woman shouted loud, 'You're
dead,' I ignored this, however, was she a psychology student? Was
there an eruption in a psychology class at my publication of
The Faulty Evolutionary Advantage Of Male Homosexuality? This could
cause quite an eruption to break out in a psychology class.
In Carr Street, looking down, a push chair came directly towards me, we weaved in synch to avoid, I had to look up to avoid the woman, black clad 30's we both laughed at the silly situation, we passed, not much sexual interest. In Upper Brook Street looking down, a slim white clad woman came towards me fast, I started to look up, too close, too fast, I side stepped, she passed. When we passed head up there was a woman dark grey clad, good figure I looked at her good sexual attraction. Sexual interest in children is dead good. In Upper Orwell Street a female child aged 3? shouted pervert and threw her umbrella at me. The mother repremanded the child. What had she told this child about me to make the child do this? I cannot imagine.
Later in the afternoon I spoke with Pat my neighbour, black clad. In conversation she pointed to an article of mutual interest, she did not turn her head, I kept looking at her for a few seconds, usual problem, I thought test, the same happened with Alec a friend of mine two weeks ago. Phobia. Severe psychological damage from past, particularly Granddaughter. Pat made all the usual paedophile gestures to Mr. Crisp or his wife in their flat behind me.
Saturday. 19TH September. 2009.
Worked in the morning, lunch at 1PM. Lunch with loud music supplied by
Rhianna. Good Girl gone Bad Album. I finished lunch with an apple
standing in the kitchen near the open door. Deep in thought as usual,
I threw the apple core out of the door. I followed my arm up with my
eyes and then realised I was looking in the direction of Mr. Crisps
flat. This confused me for a few seconds as I stared up. I just saw a
brown area as apposed to the normal green when I look up at the trees
that I like.
Above the music I thought I heard a car hooting, the music was loud, I could not be sure. Had Mr. Crisp been waiting for three weeks with a camera to get a photograph of me looking at his flat, very likely, he has nothing else to do. I went in to Ipswich, looking down at the ground at a crossing, I heard someone say, 'Hello Tony.' I looked up, I could not immediately recognise the man. It was a distant friend, Phil, he was laughing as I looked at him not surprising really. Hopefully laughing at what I publish. It amuses many men: and infuriates most women.
I went to Christchurch Park, not many people as I walked towards Christchurch Mansion. I walked to the left of the children's play area, and sat away from people at the top of the large hill nearby and read my New Scientist. I ignored the teenagers with short skirts that walked past. A man passed with his grandchildren, mentioning a Frisbee, normally I would have looked, no sexual interest, I always used to like looking at Frisbee throwing.
A very good read of New Scientist, I enjoyed the warm sun. As I left the park, half of Ipswich appeared to be walking on the park. I ignored the whole lot. Cycling past the library in Northgate Street there was a black clad girl 15? Standing in the road to my left. Unusual, I looked up at her, nice pony tail, slight sexual attraction. She was annoyed and shouted pervert. This does not hurt now. I returned home.
I bought an ice cream at the Duke Street Newagents, as I was eating the ice cream outside the shop, two slim young women approached with push chairs. One woman was white clad, the other woman black clad. I looked at the white clad woman first, good. A large white clad person caught my attraction in the distance, this was a man, upon realisation of a man, the interest soon faded. Sexual interest generally very low, no sexual interest in kids good. There seemed to be a party at the flats Saturday Night, not too loud, they all sounded happy, good, it was nice to hear.
Sunday. 20TH September. 2009.
I decided to go to the Suffolk Show Ground boot sale. On the way
round there was the expected black clad pony tail girl aged
16? I looked at her, was a test? Sexual interest very low. Good!
At one time I had to pass some large men, bouncers, it was very
cramped, moving slow, there was a black clad little boy 5? Behind
one of these large men, we were all moving extremely slow. I looked
at the boy taking care that I did not harm him.
As the boy passed the back of his head came in to view, I looked, his back came in to view, we were so close I am surprised that I did not brush against the boy. After I made sure that I was completely clear of the boy and could not harm the boy, a woman said yes indicating that I had looked at the boy. What did she expect, me to trample on him? Another stupid test and failure. Deliberate? it is well known that I am very careful near children and old people not to harm them. No sexual interest in the boy.
On the way back, Felixtowe Road, approaching the traffic lights, near the Royal Oak Public House. I sighted a white figure on the right, this was a back facing man, I briefly looked, there was a very slight sexual attraction. There was a lot of cheering coming from the house.
In the afternoon I went to see Alec and Janet, friends at Kesgrave, pre-arranged by bugged phone. I turned in to Newton Road, at the crossroads of Rosehill Road there was a boy5? Cycling on the path ahead, I quickly looked left and right and then back, by this time the boy had come off the path and was in front of me, I braked and cycled round him. I did not reprimand him or his parents, this has all gone. Another test? Look after your kids, they are your responsibility.
Had a car killed this boy, this is acceptable in this society, 300 pounds fine. Acceptable in this society, less penalty: if you are in the right social circle. There seemed to be several male bottoms tests in this road, I ignored them all, no sexual interest. I looked at a good looking slightly coloured woman 25? with male friends in Spring Road, no interest in the men, nice breasts lady.
As I approached the bungalow at Kesgrave there were two pink clad children near the bungalow aged 9? I ignored these children, no sexual interest. I now do not listen to people very well as they talk, this has become worse as the sexual testing is everywhere I go: in my assessment. The psychological damage causes this lack of interest. Alec said something and left the garage, after a couple of minutes I looked to see where he was, there he was bent over, bottom showing, in the back of his car. I looked for a second, was a test? No sexual interest.
When he returned he said the usual yes to his wife. We all left the garage shortly after, myself as usual with my head down behind Alec, Janet behind. We returned later, Janet exclaimed, it's hot in here, I think that she was referring to me. Alec had a copy of ELO, electric light orchestra, unusual for him, I published my interest in ELO last week. I passed comment on this, the music of Jeff Lynne. Alec helped me, I told him a loved him as I left, he told me he loved me a few weeks earlier, this is nothing sexual. There is considerable reverence and respect between us. He says he has great respect for me, I hope this is so.
Returning along Rosehill Road there was a man in the distance waiting between two cars. When I was close to the man, it was Salvador, the man from the flats, he was smiling saying he was off to see his daughter, as he left he said Bye Bye as usual. If he had as much mental impairment as me every time he saw his daughter and possibly his grandchildren: he definitely would not be going to see them.
Notes.
I have seen all the back tests and bottom tests I need to see at
Alec's and Janet's house. Their assessment of homosexuality enhanced
by my walking with my head down behind people when I know testing
is going on. I also become very confused mentally when at his house
working on electronic equipment in close proximity of Alec, this
shows up sometimes in confused chat that is stupid. Confused, what's
coming next? Trying to work on electronics confused. Thinking through
a fog.
Phobias, a few years ago with the psychological damage from females, I started to become attracted to the backs of men's heads. This has now changed to another phobia, I now do not like to look at the back of males heads as I associate this with homosexuality more than looking at men's bottoms.
Another phobia, I do not like looking at faces, this started with the playground abuse from all. The psychological mess that I made of my wife's head, the continuous arguments that turned me away from liking her face. I preferred making love vaginally from the rear. The psychological damage over the past few years from females, principally my eldest daughter, this causing me to look down and settle on their breasts when I was talking to them. Sarah, the psychological damage there. This eventually caused an accentuated interest in the backs of heads that has disappeared recently. This interest, particularly with unusual hair styles. The induced phobia, looking down at breasts now gone.
The psychological damage that I did not hide that drove my sexual interests down to children. I did not hide this, I spoke to Pat my neighbour about this about ten years ago. At the same time I also told Colin a Park Keeper on Holliwells Park that the increasing harassment principally from IBC agency intrusion was driving my sexual interests down to children.
Colin called a meeting with IBC officials, There was nothing they could do to prohibit my use of the park because there was no sexual offence: and my statement that there would never be. By children I meant children under 12 years of age. I also said that it did not cause fantasy, and that I could never have sex with such a child. Colin probably cited this in the meeting.
Am I now going to care for female children less as I pass them in close proximity because of the abuse? Is this going to develop? I do not know? Was there photography Saturday when I looked up at the flats? You cannot win. Such a scenario is eventually going to happen as an accident. Collect such evidence bit by bit. It's a bit like IBC and their agents coming back again and again with planning applications until they finally get them passed.
I use to live at 643 Bramford Road 25 years ago, Fairclough builders were trying then to get half of the long gardens to these houses on a legal technicality. I went and talked to a family recently about this. They said the battle is still on going, they keep coming back. Who is they? Same business families, directors, off shore companies that have changed hands and titles a few times? Stealing peoples land, they are good at this!
About six years ago, I told David Livingstone that I was becoming sexually attracted to my granddaughter: and that I did not like this attraction. David said this was normal for most men. This escalated due to the general abuse and the abuse from the family and my isolation. I did not want to sexualise my granddaughter. I never masturbated with fantasy thinking of her. I now cannot face her when I talk to her in case the now slight sexual attraction to her increases. I do not want this to increase. So, I do not want to see her.
The black Guy in the flats, I heard him playing with his children about a month ago early one sunday morning. I was in the garden probably having breakfast. He was having great fun, he was loud the children were loud laughing and screaming. He is a fantastic father. He said I looked at his kids, what did he see? Alec, in his assessment in what he saw when I looked at him recently bending over. His assessment of sexual interest was wrong. What he saw was fact, the assessment was wrong.
Janet, me following Alec, head down, looking near his bottom. No, looking at the floor: as chronicled many times before in this book. What she saw: her assessment was wrong. Ten witness statements will vary for a car accident, some minor, some at great variance. The black guy, I heard him shout, 'I know what I saw.' Janet will say I know what I saw. Alec will say I know what I saw. I would not know the black guys children if I saw them in the street, the same with his wife.
What did the black guy see? Last Thursday I went in to the bathroom, the window was open, I was writing, deep in thought, I heard traffic noise, I looked up, I have not got used to this window being open yet. I can remember looking up out of this window in the past at the green trees that obscure the view while I urinate. I doubt the following, but another variable. Could the black guy have seen schizophrenic imagery? The brain if it can calculate a fault in an assessed situation, particularly a danger to ones own children , the brain can create imagery to reinforce fears. The paranoia over this whole event has been unbelievable.
Where did this whole bloody mess concerning these flats start. I think It started with Mr. Crisp frightening the children, he's a pervert referring to me. Did Crisp lie saying I looked at the children? Crisp is a nasty bit of work? Ask Frank the school crossing guy, frank used to be the school crossing lollipop man on the Felixtowe Road Hatfield Road crossing. Does he still do this? He complained to Crisp about the noise from Crisps flat. Frank got his window or door kicked in a couple of days later. I do not know where I look as I go out in my garden deep in thought creating books, internet sites, electronics. There has been a lot of problems in the last month with an electronics project: without all this silliness on my mind.
The spotter for the bouncer on Sunday, she knew what she saw, so do I. A caring man concerned that he would not hurt a little boy. A man still caring that he will not hurt children. I remember Broom Hill pool in 1992 and 1993 I was screaming at the management: my kids are in danger: look after them. I had fell in love with a boy and a girl, no sexual interest in the boy. The girl I flirted with and I did not expect to fall in love with her. It was all crazy, like this current situation: protect the kids.
The few people that know what I was like in 1992 and before know that I was a caring loving man. I still am caring and loving to a lessor degree. A lot of the love has not gone.
Sexual Fantasy.
I still fantasise in masturbation of Sarah, sometimes in a white
wedding dress, sometimes her face and body parts, about once weekly.
I wanted to marry Sarah, but she had to come off or reduce the
alcohol input. The last day I saw her, dragging her paralytic passed
the wedding gown shop, when she said,'look wedding dresses'. I did not
show any interest, however, I often looked at the wedding dresses
before this day and since. At the height of the relationship I loved
her so much that I did not want to watch her slowly kill herself with
alcohol, and perhaps hold her until she died in my arms.
How when I first met her, I told her, my work comes first, it will always be first. Many women have good relationships with such men, however, such women are usually hard working not lazy: and this works well in the relationship. Sarah, tried to control me, wanted me to be with her and give up my work, when she could not achieve this she thought that I did not love her absolutely. Well, I did not love her absolutely, I did not die, absolute is where the the partner dies because of the loss of love.
Well, she nearly killed me as chronicled in this diary with stress, depression, mood swings, and loss of sleep causing mild schizophrenia when the relationship failed. The irony is she messed me about so much with prior failed appointments that I thought she was being unfaithful again. I do believe she was being faithful.
Sarah could not understand my attraction without masturbation of other women, the fully clothed pictures of other young women in their thirties on my computer desktop with her picture. Sarah, in a white wedding dress, 'My Princess,' captured at last, excuse the terminology, captured, however I am sure she felt the same that if we married, she had captured her man in true love in formal marriage. I wanted something special, she did not understand this, I borrowed 1700 pounds for the occasion. Brain association link, living in the past, the good times in dream fantasy.
Soft Porn.
I went to see Joss and Dave, friends, about three months ago, in
casual conversation I said I might get a TV and watch Soft Porn,
I never explained what I meant by Soft Porn, these are the music
channels. I now really need to get a good modern music channel to
see the new groups to capture the new lyrics, in well presented
tunes. The marketing men know that sex sells and all you see in
much of modern music presentation is sexual video content.
Where is my princess? -
She Is Not Here.
On a couple of occasions, I started watching this video, and stopped it, I did not like it, however, I decided to watch it through. I did find the video sexually arousing particularly the pink silk bra and breast shots. I did not find the video so degrading watching it in full. Could I become more accustomed to this type of video presentation if I obtained a TV and music channels? Could it develop as an interest to possible masturbation. I do not know. I feel many men masturbate to this sort of presentation, the artists know this, sex sells. Teenage pregnancies higher than they have ever been, not surprising is it? Actual sex and self masturbation are now known scientifically to be therapeutic as long as it does not cause stress or injury.
Monday. 21ST September. 2009.
I went in to Ipswich at 5PM, sexual drive lowest, good, no interest in
kids. The usual College stitch up, biased test. Cycling on the College
side of the road on the path, the spotter could see me coming at quite
a distance as I passed two groups of people cycling in to the road off
the path, in and out of the cycle lane going against the traffic.
Approaching the College lights crossing the path was blocked again
by three people walking. I tried to get on the road, there was no
cycle lane to get in to. This was near a black clad boy.
I then cycled to the right hand side of the path and a black guy moved to let me pass. The spotter, psychologist? Held her nose as I passed. I shouted 'boring.' No sexual interest in the boy or any of these men. On Bishops Hill two women with push chairs, one a black large woman white clad, I ignored her and cycled on. No doubt she said I looked at her and the child.
At my house, at the flats, I heard someone shout my name, it was Salvador, he was shouting to a man on the car park with a similar name, I looked up and said did you get a good photograph to the three men on the flats balcony?
Tuesday. 22ND September. 2009.
Here is a classic, at 10-10AM I was putting some filler in a wooden
table in my garden. Filler to fill before painting. I was looking
down but I was aware of a mirror directing the sun flashing
across my eyes from the flats. I did not look up, I am a bit
streetwise for that one. However, I very briefly looked up to see
the position of the sun. There must be a lot of money on the table
to go to all this trouble to stitch me up.
Note.
This situation is not going to get better, I shall be continued
to be stitched up, or there will be false positives, or biased
tests to impress unaware people. Psychology is not an exact science
for sexual testing, particularly: when the victim is aware of what
is happening. I wanted this page to have a happy ending, I now know
this is not possible, I will allways be stitched up.
A person can be adapted to be sexually attracted to children, yet not deliberately place himself near children for sexual gratification purpose. Similarly, such a person does not have to place him/herself in a position to view children for similar purpose.
In my case as recorded I only fantasise from children that offer me sex directly or I interpret from conversation that sex is an option. If you were single and a 13 year old girl hinted or directly stated that she wanted to enter in to sexual activity with you: this would very likely cause fantasy masturbation.
Copyright. (C) September 2009.
A.W.JOHNS,
34 BISHOPS HILL,
IPSWICH,
SUFFOLK,
IP38EN.
DATED 22 09 2009
REF 1. \09\0951.TXT
PROFESSOR PECKITT
HEAD OF FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGY.
St Clements Hospital.
Foxhall Road,
Ipswich,
Suffolk,
IP3 8LS.
Dear Sir,
I hope you are well.
I wrote to you 9Th March this year, concerning my change of
psychology regards a change to a homosexual interst in 1996. I
wanted to know if there was a professional psychological paper
pertinent to this matter to the time it takes to change such
a fixed mental state.
You advised me to see my G.P. You did not appear to have a
professional answer to my question. A couple of weeks later I
resolved the problem. I have been very busy, and I have not had
time to write to you to share my analyses.
The conclusion that I came too was that, such as when the
environment causes such a change this is only apparent at the
time of a persons realisation of such adaptation. This takes
between 60 and 100 milliseconds for conscious state to be aware.
So, this is the time it takes to change sexual gender interests,
and sexual age interests. I hope this clarifies the matter.
If you agree this, and this is not common knowledge, please feel
free to share this information with fellow professionals. I hope
this is of help for you and other professionals to answer such
queries that come from the general public. Please feel free to
use this information in publication if this of use to push the
frontiers of psychology forward.
I am,
Yours Sincerely,
Anthony W. Johns.
Tuesday. 22ND September. 2009. Continued.
In the afternoon I went in to Ipswich. In Wilkinson's I approached the
escalator to return to the ground floor, my head was up, a large
woman 30? Black clad, came towards me coming up the escalator. I
briefly looked at her, I was attracted to her. At the exit, head down,
a white clad slim woman came towards me. I did not bother to look up.
Spotter with video phone.
I returned home, at the Grimwade Street/Fore Street crossing, on the island there was a black clad short man standing with some sort of magnification device to his eye. I did not look at him as I passed, later I thought, police forensic, was the magnifying glass to see if I was on drugs, possibly? More likely: The First "Secret" Sign Of Physiological Attraction Is Dilated Pupils. Was this Professor Peckit? If Yes, I hope that he was truthful with his report. I had no sexual interest in this man. I returned home, overall sexual drive still dropping fast: good. My eyes dropped with a man and a woman shop assistant today, woman breasts, man midrift, although this is lessor: this phobia has not gone.
In the past when I visited sports centres, if I saw something dangerous, I reported this to management. I used to skate RollerBury the skating rink at Bury St. Edmund's. I skated there for 8 years almost weekly, I brought to the managements attention a safety issue that was quickly remedied. I skated the Triangle Colchester before that for about 6 years. No problems there, safely run. I used sports centres and skating rinks for about 25 years. A swimming pool where there was a problem was Colchester Leisure World.
I had approached management about a broken electrical socket, but on a later visit I had noticed a child being pulled unconscious from the pool. Had the management followed HSE guidelines for reporting to HSE such a serious problem? So, it can be seen that my letters and my attack on IBC was not just pertinent to them. I care for all people, a lot less now after the campaign to drive my sexual interests down to young children: and anything else that moves as I walked in Ipswich. Also, causing an apparent display of lewd behaviour. And all the abuse for presenting such a display.
To, Elaine Hamilton-Vincent
H.S.E. CHELMSFORD
WREN HOUSE,
HEDGEROWS BUSINESS
PARK.
COLCHESTER ROAD
CHELMSFORD
ESSEX.
CM2 5PF
T 01245 706200.
Hi, Elaine,
Please receipt this letter by letter post for my file,
and please write to me by letter post after your investigation.
Re, our telephone conversation, I hope that adaptation at the
Colchester leisure can if necessary be easily and cheaply
achieved.
The criterion as I see it, is, was the leisure centre when it was
built, built within H.S.E. guidelines or statutory status ?
The incident that happened there, as appended below, was this
correctly recorded in the accident book ? and has the pool
management informed you of the incident ? their statutory
requirement for such a serious incident.
Thanks. Kind Regards, Tony Johns.
A.W.JOHNS.
34 BISHOPS HILL,
IPSWICH.
SUFFOLK.
IP38EN.
G.G. Baker.
Head Of Operations.
H.S.E.
Priestley House.
Priestly Road,
Basingstoke.
Hampshire.
RG24 9NW.
DATED 21 04 05
REF D:\05\0538.TXT
01473 423166
Dear Sir,
I am an A.S.A. Diving instructor, I have not taught for 10 years,
However, I use swimming pools a lot, have used swimming pools a
lot over the last 50 years. I use Colchester Leisure Centre.
Leisure pools, monthly, I take my Granddaughter there.
1. BROKEN MAINS ELECTRIC SOCKET.
Walk through the entrance past the tills, past the cafeteria,
turn right to get to the leisure pools, walk down the
corridor towards the changing area, just before the changing
area on the lower left hand side wall is a broken mains
socket.
I noticed this broken socket on Sunday the 6th of February in the
afternoon, I brought this possible danger to managements
attention. I stated if this socket was at mains potential, the
power not coming through an isolation transformer, that, if
the supply was on, the floor is wet, a child with wet hands
placing a finger in to this socket, or a metallic object: would
be instantly electrocuted.
However, If this is an isolated transformer supply, this may still
kill at 110 volts if the power is on, and if a child places itself
across the supply. The socket was still in a state of disrepair,
Sunday 17th April when I visited the leisure pools again.
2. CHILD NEARLY DROWNED.
Sunday, 17th April at about 4.30 PM
A child aged 3 to six years ? was lifted from the deep area of
the leisure pool, near the over bridge that crosses over the
deep area of the pool. Estimated water depth 4 feet to 4 feet
six inches.
This female child was not breathing, and it took a few minutes
to get her breathing again, paramedic's arrived about 10 minutes
later, the child was taken to hospital.
Was this incident correctly recorded in the safety log ?, has
there been similar incidents of presumably serious parental
neglect ? There are often children in this part of the pool that
can easily drown with such a depth of water.
There are no side hand rails for children to grip on to, the sides
rise vertically about a further two feet, this is a trap for a small
child. Also the water seems to be opaque at this depth, this is
unusual, this may be the type of water treatment chemical causing
this problem. A very young child cannot be easily seen on the
bottom of this pool.
There must be a warning system to make parents aware that if they
neglect young children, their children are likely to drown in
this pool. Young children must be held at all times, or suitable
buoyancy aids must be provided.
I observe the lifeguards at all times, they are absolutely
professional in the way that they execute their duties, they are
very vigilant and watch the pools at all times. The pool is well
managed, this is just a very difficult pool to manage safely. I am
writing to you to see if there is anything in the H.S.E. brief
that can make this pool safer, and stop the possibility of the
death of a child: this unfortunately I feel is inevitable.
If the parents were neglectful, can you prosecute them ?
Please receipt this letter.
I am,
Yours Sincerely,
Tony Johns.
Wednesday. 23RD September. 2009. Continued.
I waited for a parcel delivery all day, this parcel did not arrive.
I worked all day partly on my electronics project, but mostly on this
diary. I had to go out to post my Grandaughter in North London her
birthday card. I left just after 6PM, I was in a foul mode, no parcel
delivery + working on this diary, necessary, but not what I want to
do. This diary, and the silliness that has developed is getting in the
way of all my project work.
I left the house scruffy, hair unkempt, unshaven. As I left my house I spotted three of the neighbours Moslem children on the wall near my house. Two dressed in black, centre girl in white. I said fucking rag heads, annoyed that there appeared to be a test just as I was leaving as often happens. I do not think the girls heard what I said. If they did hear my statement, I apologise profusely for this. Most Moslem children are well brought up and honest.
I posted my Grandaughters card in Upper Brook Street, collection from there is 6:30PM. There were a lot of people near Sainsbury's I decided to go to Tesco's in St. Mathews. I ignore most people, but slowed down near a black clad boy with his father, I looked down at the boy to make sure that I avoided him. There was a slight attraction to his bottom: the first. Thank you psychologists, and recent abuse, and me switching people off that has caused this fast adaptation: another lewd interest. Very Displeasing.
I left the shop with my head down, there was a large disabled persons transport vehicle in front of me on the path. I briefly looked up to see what it was. I heard a girl shout wanker, I collected my bike and left. This recent very new addition to the number of induced attractions through environmental change did not annoy me. I was angry anyway. Still angry I cycled through Ipswich.
I was cycling fast on the path, there were three teenagers ahead, two girls leaning against a shop and a boy a about ten feet away on the path. The boy started to move towards the girls, his head was down, there was plenty of room to get through, I kept going. One of the girls said ' that was not very caring'. I can stop that bike on a penny, it was caring, just faster than I normally go. Had there been an old person or a child that could be frightened, I would have slowed down.
I returned home, I was photographed on Bishops Hill with a professional camera, a grey clad man that I was concerned about because of his unusual position near an entrance looking at me. The effect of this new development with this boy child made me depressed for the rest of the evening. But I soon got over it by the following morning. Such abuse and adaptations in the past with adults used to have a far more detrimental effect on me. This is armament for the people in the flats near me, but I never looked up at those flats with sexual interest at any children or adults.
Notes.
I enjoy being nude in my house in the summer, I stopped this 6 weeks
ago, deep in thought, mostly about this harassment stupidity, in a
rush to put rubbish in a bin I nearly walked in to my garden nude.
The silliness around me in paranoia is unbelievable. I cannot be
dealing with this silliness much longer recording adaptations. As
stated, sightings do not make me masturbate. I have no interest in
sexualising children. I just want to get on with my life.
I have been thinking to write to my eldest daughter enlightening her as to how in my assessment she was used as a porn in a psychological scenario where in my assessment she had no idea what the motives were in her engineered mental corruption of me: as recorded in this diary.
Recap.
I assaulted David Ball the leader of IBC in May 1996 because of his
lack of care, a serious swimming pool safety matter and another
matter. The police took my computers for examination. The book,'
Surrogate Daughter,' was in the data. Also, parts of the book,
'The Fiddle'. This data brought to the attention of IBC, and every
psychologist in the area, and most likely made it's way to Evening
Star staff. Action was needed to stop the publication of these
books, an embarrassment for IBC and Ipswich. Psychology was used
and is still used today to try to destroy me.
Posted 26 Sept 2009.
Ref /09/0952.TXT
Miss Sadie Johns.
Address Witheld.
Going Up Against The Government And Losing.
In my assessment you were used as a pawn in a game where your
family's welfare was secondary to the motive of creating my mental
impairment by an Ipswich forensic psychologist. This forensic
psychologist that I feel advised a police officer to tell you how to
break down the secure psychological barrier that was in force in my
brain between father and daughter that excludes sexual interest for
the fathers children: as was normal for me prior to 1996, and is
normal for most fathers.
Your sexual displays as chronicled in this diary directed at me
that started in 1996 broke down this prohibitive barrier. The
overall sexual profiling where ever I went from mid summer 1996
created a far different psychology for me than which went
before. This was as intended. Knowing my mental state was being
considerably impaired could have easily enacted violence from me
to others including yourself. The anger and thoughts of violence
against you are again chronicled in the 1996 and the therafter
time period.
The overall objective apart from this was to drive my sexual
interests down to young children that could be recorded. Violence
against you or others was the objective. Also, the sexualisation
of my grandchildren that were in my care at many times between
1996 and 2006 I feel was hoped for. I kept control of the created
urges and without fantasy and never sexualised my grandchildren. This
must have disappointed the authorities. The children were
expendable, their mental impairment by sexual activity was
secondary to the objective which was to destroy me in any way they
could. Fortunately, I controlled such induced interests.
In the last 13 years any and every measure has been taken to mentally
impair me to drive me to suicide, or violence, or sexualising a child.
The authorities with your help and the help of others have
successfully destroyed my credibility.
There will never be any violence against you or others concerning this
matter.
If you have a response, I would like to sight it.
Love Dad. X
Thursday 24TH September. 2009.
I went in to Ipswich. In Fore Street there was a boy black clad and a
girl white clad both young 20s. I was attracted to the girl but never
looked directly at the couple. At Sainsbury,s I was tying up my bike
looking down, a baby in a push chair was pushed close in to my line
of vision. No interest, I brought my head up and went in to the shop.
On the way to a dental appointment in Berners Street I was
photographed with high resolution long distance camera at the Crown
Street High Street Junction.
At the Dentists, early, I waited outside, there was four white clad men opposite, I briefly looked at these men, a bit concerned for my safety. After the dental treatment, I thanked the dentist for saving my tooth and turned for about a second to thank his black clad Dental Nurse. As soon as I turned I realised she was back facing, nice pony tail, very little sexual attraction, she said he looked. More paranoia: or information collecting.
I went to Wilkinson's in Upper Brook Street, as I left there was a woman green clad large breasts, I looked at her, the manager was the spotter, he said perv. If he has not been attracted to a woman with large breasts recently then he is a homosexual. Outside the shop there was another woman white clad, large breasts, I looked at her. Both these women, although there was a now very low level sexual interest I looked at to try to correct the recent new interest in a boys bottom which has depressed me from mid morning for the rest of the day. Particularly, that I would have to publish it.
In Carr Street there were two women walking towards me aged 25? White clad left, black clad right, I was attracted to white first, but never looked at either woman. This is the only way when white and black are displayed together how I can tell my colour preference between black and white.
Friday 25TH September. 2009.
I went to Duke Street newsagents to collect a magazine, I looked
directly at the woman's face as I talked to her, I collected my
magazine and left. There was a tall man and a woman outside the shop.
After I unlocked my bike and turned round there was a woman
immediately behind my back facing me, she turned away as I turned.
As I entered Fore Street post office there was an aggressive looking
man back from the queue, I looked down and joined the queue. I asked
the man if he was in the queue, he said no.
I left the shop, cycled up Fore Street, turned in to Orwell place, a white clad boy aged 20? stuck his hand up as I passed him. I had not looked at him, I felt that I was stitched up in the Duke Street shop, the man outside was the spotter, I also felt that I was stitched up in the Fore Street post office as usual. I shopped in town, In Primark I was walking fast and turned towards a pony tail girl 20, this may have been a false positive? I do not know. I was not aware of any failures. I went to Ranelagh Cycle Warehouse in Ranelagh Road and then returned to Ipswich town centre.
I cycled down Westgate Street towards the market, the sun was in my eyes and in every other persons eyes going East. I could see people in the centre of the road but not black clad people on the right hand side shaded area until they moved. Twice, could be three times a cycled to the right to give people in the centre plenty of clearance and black spotters moved on the right and could then be seen. Finally, as I turned towards the market place, a black spotter could then be seen.
As I cycled through Fore Street ignoring every person, a man and two women were near a car. The man said not this end. Presumably, he meant no false positives? On Bishops Hill returning to my house a black clad man and then a black clad woman came in to view. I took no notice of either person.
Friday Afternoon. I heard people arrive to see Mr. Crisp, noisy as usual, one guy shouting, how's wanker? I was outside, I heard one guy say go and give him a poke. In case there was any violence I decided to work in the house. I cleared the work bench of my work including my stainless steel killing knife: this lot are not worth going to prison for.
Friday Evening. I worked as usual, the song and dance routine is still going on with Mr. Crisp and people at the flats. I heard children playing, after a while I heard Mr. Crisp say he's dead. I heard Mr. Crisp say to the black guy who I believe had just returned from work, he's dead. The black guy thanked him. Wonderful stage show. Mr. Crisp was shouting to people, he's a perv. If the black guy had lived next to Mr. Crisp with Crisps behaviour over the last six months, I doubt they would be friendly, he probably would have moved out.
Mr. Crisp is in control round there, he loves it, same as it has always been. However, there is nothing to control, I never looked at his wife up there or the children with any sexual interest: if this was the problem?
Notes.
The boys bottom that I looked at was very disappointing, this is the
first time there has been any realised sexual interest in a boy
since the last time two or three months ago, the boy in a push chair,
and the boy a couple of days later in Sainsbury's. In the last three
months babies in push chairs I have liked to look at, there had been
no aware sexual interest.
I feel there is a direct link between the psychologists and Mr. Crisp that is endangering my life. This is political, primarily because of my political publications. I have been very careful not to hurt children placed near my legs in the last few months. I became more concerned after I stood on a little boy a few months ago when I had decided not to look down for children. I now feel that I need to reverse this habit and not look down at children near me.
Publishing my sexual interests at times driven down to young children by abuse starting in February 1998, as recorded in this log, or books, A considerable piece of engineering by local agencies to achieve this.
Saturday 26TH September. 2009.
I went in to Ipswich Shopping, Wilkinson's First, then Sainsbury's,
Sexual Interest very low good. I spoke to one of the regular check
out ladies, I said my illness is going, she knew what I was referring
too. I should have said my induced illness is going. She said take
it slowly you will get better. I thanked her and left.
I had decided to go to Christchurch Park to read some magazines. I stopped in Carr Street to buy a bottle of drink. I had to wait with others to cross Carr Street as there was a police van slowly passing, the street was crowded. I was behind a woman with a little black clad boy on the left. I quickly looked to the left to see if there was enough room to get past the little boy before the police van arrived.
There was very little room to pass quickly so I waited. A man on the other side of the road said referring to me looking at the boy 'I thought he was dead?' There was no sexual interest in the boy. Amateur psychologists everywhere. When the police van had passed, I looked across the road, there was a pink clad blond little girl aged 9? looking at me, I looked at her, there was a slight sexual attraction, disappointing.
I went to Christchurch Park, I sat near the Mansion reading. A black clad woman, high heels could be heard, I briefly looked at her, she was with her husband and child. A really sexy looking woman, grey clad, fantastic figure appeared, I briefly looked, quickly looked down to my book, and blew a kiss to the book in appreciation, she was well out of my league.
A black clad girl walked past, I looked, I could not age her. I looked hard to age her. This is the second girl in black that I have not been able to age. The other girl on a bus from Asda, two months ago, recorded in this diary. No sexual interest in this girl. If anything is odd I will look. Young teenage girls joined her, I assumed they were all teenagers. No interest, I looked down and read my book.
The only person that I was really interested in was sitting opposite, yellow clad, a woman aged 35? Who I felt was there possibly looking for a man. She left before I left.
I returned home. In Fore Street a tall black clad man suddenly appeared from the royal Nelson P.H. age 30? I looked, concerned, a white clad woman appeared laughing out of the door behind him, she was slightly younger. I looked at her with sexual interest, I was attracted to her.
On the hill near my house, on the left hand side, three boys came towards me, they were blocking the path, so I passed near the boy nearest the road to cross to my house, he was white clad, no sexual attraction.
Near my house a black guy was coming down the hill, within 20 yards, he swung his foot to the right in a kicking motion, this did not seem aggressive.
At night, the usual arguments from the flats, he is a pervert, no he's not, he's dead, no he's not, this frightening the hell out of the children. I heard my Angel, a woman, ( Non Spiritual ), say something like, he's dead, the professionals are right, they know. She really is my Guardian Angel: with superior intelligence, Thank You Darling: Thank You.
Notes.
I would appreciate no violence, I am trying to sort this out. However,
I cannot go through life without looking at people. I am bound to
look at men with concern in groups or in close proximity. I had an
attraction to children in push chairs for a couple of months that was
non sexual. I have always mixed with and enjoyed the company of children
in the past. I have always loved children, not adults. I am not a sex
offender, I do not fantasise about people that I sight, I am a law
abiding citizen. Violence Breeds Violence.
A couple of years ago I wrote to the Evening Star Newspaper to try and get a speed camera on Bishops Hill, cars come up the hill very fast. I have nearly been mowed down by cars a couple of times crossing near my house. I feel a child will be killed crossing to the park one day. A sign children crossing would help. There will be cameras and signs after a child is killed, this always happens.
Has anybody in the flats wrote to the star about this, I doubt it. Paranoid concern for their own, but not others. If a child is killed everybody in the flats will be depressed for a few days, some may go to the funeral, traffic will slow down for a couple of weeks, then it will all be back to the normal race track. Car deaths, acceptable in this society.
If you are in a position where you cannot be got at by the authorities, having left an organisation. Where you know the hierarchy were trying to drive me to suicide or violence: thus, being interned in a mental hospital. Will you please write to me as evidence of such event.
If a person, similarly, has knowledge that my family were expendable by my mental corruption: then please contact me.
The info I have is that the College and University College treat staff badly. Similarly, if you have left this organisation and are prepared to provide evidence of their political harassment of me, then, please contact me.
A couple of years ago, every time I went from my house on to Bishops Hill there would always be black clad people on the hill, my assessment, from the college. Profiling, and deliberately destabilising me mentally.
As recorded in this diary, on one occasion about two years ago, I was very angry and slammed my wheely bin against the ground and the wall outside my house. Three women were passing, one woman said something like, we've got him, he's losing it.
Finally, if any NHS, Police, or other agency document pertinent to my adapted sexual interests since 1996. A copy to be sent to me directly, preferably correctly titled with a letter title and address of the person who is sending it. However, anonymous may be useful, then please send this to me or meet me in a public place for the same reason. Perhaps, personally handed documents would be better, letter post in this case can be scrutinised.
Please down load this site.
I have no interest in sexualising children, neither do I fantasise about children or adults that I see.