Copyright (C) Anthony William Johns. Years 2002 To 2009.
34 Bishops Hill. Ipswich. Suffolk. IP3 8EN.
There is adult material on this page including foul language
and explicit sexual details. You need to be 18 years of age or over
to read this page. There are no links to visual imagery pornographic
material: or pornographic sites.
Some of the writings on these pages reflect the adapted mental state
to 1991, where the author rejected religion. The author has changed
mental state again and now feels that religion and science will
take this life-form forward to eternal life.
Note.
This log has been going on for 13 years. Over this period of time the
author has been almost daily sexually profiled virtually where ever he
goes in Ipswich for political reason. The effect of this is horrendous,
this causes displayed lewd behaviour as chronicled below.
The mental impairment caused by the realisation of many resultant
false positives that are realised by the author: this causes all
sorts of phobias and changed sexual interests to appear, the not
looking at faces and looking down at female breasts, looking down
at men's lower parts, the being attracted to the backs of heads of
people, and the backs and bottoms of people.
This mental impairment, the brain sees as adult abuse, also drives
sexual interest down to children. This has only ever caused self
masturbation by the author if pubescent children have offered him
sex. The Author has no interest in having sex with children.
This will never happen.
There is reference to the bad police in some parts of this diary,
there are good honest police officers and corrupt very bad
officers. Bad police officers will do anything for money, some will
do unlawful things like planting drugs or planting child porn on
computers to remove a political enemy: anything to get up that
ladder.
This diary in it's entirety is seen to be useful
to psychologists in the many adaptations as recorded.
Always down load these pages. In your browser:
go to File and Save As.
Notes.
Last month saw a climax in anger for me, angry with Sarah and her
stupid family, angry with the way this government has caused future
monetary problems for me. Angry with the ever on going sexual testing
causing unhappy for me sexual psyche adaptations, particularly the
untruthful stitch up's. In such a mood of past events, for me thoughts
are recalled of further past negative events, the St. Clements Stitch
up in 1996. The general induced mental impairment of 1996 including
the induced adaptation causing me to look at male and female bottoms. +
My eldest daughters behaviour and paranoia causing mental impairment
and phobias causing further negation of my mental state. The
interuption by all this prohibiting the advance of projects that I
want to do. The police involvement in all this, particularly the police
involvement where I felt a police officer told my eldest daughter what
to do to create a sexual interest in her. The abuse and loss of respect
by people for me. The induced paranoia's, still on going. The assault
of Sarah's stepfather, my police record for this. The sexual testing in
my GP's surgery by staff, and in my assessment by some doctors. My
concern at being incorrectly assessed as delusive by health care
professionals: if I have to need their help.
So I lost it, I finally lashed out, not with my fists but with my
fingers on the keyboard. I have done this a few times before. The
letter to the Pension Credit Service in part 13 page 418 was designed
to upset the police, this I think it did very well. Also, upsetting the
police I hoped would shut my eldest daughter brothel down ruining her.
This action getting back at both parties. The publication about John
Booty again on the previous page was to get back at him and Hehir
regards the way they stitched me up in 1996.
Part of the past month until this day 09 04 09 has seen a great
reduction in empathy for me caused by the continuous sexual testing
where ever I go. This week there has been very little sexual testing
and abuse, this has settled me down, I am quite empathetic at the
moment. I have also definitely finished the relationship with Sarah,
she stole 2X CD music disks from me, this was particularly depressing
for me. However, you cannot have a thief in your house, this theft
definitely finished the relationship. Getting over Sarah and the
continuous turmoil with her and her friends has given me better mental
stability.
The country looks as though it is going bankrupt, this is adding to my
mental destability. There are very serous monetary problems in the UK,
I cannot see me making good money, this is important to me, I do not
want to spend old age in poverty. In my assessment, people like me are
going to be living on very low income, very much lower than today.
Most of last year was wasted, very little fruitful work produced by
me. Sarah and her families mental destability of me + the realisation
since August 2008 that this country is in serious trouble affecting
every person but mostly people on low income like me has caused further
mental destability. I wasted seven months trying to earn money to
pay off my debt's without a positive result.
A friend asked me whether our Prime Minister Gordon Brown is
deliberately ruining our country, my answer after thinking this
through was yes. We both agreed this looked as though this is what is
happening. Tony Blair the last P.M. I feel was doing the same, Brown
and Blair both in the same boat. Blair wanted to be president of
Europe I think he sold us out to Germany to achieve this. Germany are
ruining this country by stealth. Money and power it's unbelievable.
The Lisbon treaty is a sell out, all the legislative power of
Government in the UK, this has nearly all gone.
Informative article.
I invested 1700 GB Pounds last year in the purchase of internet
domains to either sell them or start a business with them. The
downturn in global conditions leading to a severe global
monetary depression has reduced the value of these domains to 2% of
what they were. I am now deeper in debt.
In this part-14 you will see how my respect and care for people is
reduced further by sexual profiling and abuse. I refer to Ipswich
people as cabbage heads, I lash out at every corporate and person
that is causing or has caused me mental destability. My paranoia
of not being able to pay my bills in the future because of the
deteriorating financial stability in this country causes me to try
to extort money from
Cephas,
as they had tried to extort money from their low income clients.
In doing so I panicked
and lied in published text losing my credibility in this respect. I
tried to get money from
John Booty X IBC Benefits Manager
that stitched me up in 1996: and tried to get me imprisoned. I wanted
to clear my debts and produce my projects that: I feel will create
enough money for me to be comfortable and active in the future.
I did not care whether I harmed Ipswich Blind Society. I panicked,
this was survival. This gives some indication of what is going to
happen when we get fully in to this depression when many people panic:
and behave as they would not normally do. This coming depression that
is predicted to be far worse than the 1930's depression.
My financial information that accurately calculates and projects the
global financial situation, principally, America and Europe, that is
accurate, comes from this source,
Weiss Research.
I read and have read updates from this company for 10 months as to the
dire deteriorating situation in America and Europe. There has been
wave after wave of mismanagement of this crises and extreme propaganda
from all governments and banking institutions. When this government
came in to office my sister and I agreed that new Labour would
very likely bankrupt this country in 5 years. if my assessment is
right, 2009 will be the bankruptcy year, it has taken 13 years -
unlucky for all.
By the time I get to the third quarter of May 2009 at the end of this
page I have no remorse or care for the people that I have upset and
will upset, I now have very little care for people. This is an absolute
change from my caring loving mental state as it was in 1992.
My diary starts again below on the 8TH March 2009 to 9TH April 2009.
There is an intimidating sexual profiling test highlighted on the 5TH
of April that I believe was set up by Ipswich police in Sainsbury's in
Upper Brook Street Ipswich this test was particularly distressing and
made me very angry for the week. There are similar failed tests in
Tesco's in Duke Street Ipswich that had a greater destabilising mental
state between 17TH and the 23RD of April 2009.
Sunday. 8TH March. 2009.
Sarah was very depressed, she is losing her flat, pending court
case, the idiots there are adding to her depression. Sarah stayed with
me yesterday and today, we enjoyed each others company. I think Sarah
was pleased to be away from the problems at her flat.
Monday. 9TH March. 2009.
As I walked down Fore Street in to town at the hairdressers there was
a test as always. This was with a little boy age 4? with parents?
I wanted to turn towards the boy when I sighted him, was the attraction
sexual? I don't know. I do not think that it was sexual.
Wednesday. 11TH March. 2009.
I had arranged to see Sarah in town at 10:30AM, She was on time, I was
impressed. The down side was that she was drunk, paralytic. I was very
angry with this. We went for a coffee, I said that I was short of
money, would she pay half? Sarah rummaged around in her handbag and
said she had no money. So I paid for the coffees.
When we got to Sainsbury's Sarah said she would buy some wine, I said
if you have got money, I will have your half for the coffees, as I
wanted to buy fruit in Sainsbury's and I did now not have any money to
buy this fruit. Sarah reluctantly paid me. I would not let Sarah buy
wine in her drunken state. When we got to my house Sarah wanted sex, I
was not pleased with her enough to have sex with her. I did a few odd
jobs around the house while Sarah slept off the booze.
When I saw Sarah Sunday last, I inadvertently exposed the paper work in
my brief case to Sarah that was the paper manual to her mobile phone. I
had printed this so I could see messages on her mobile when I was at
her flat. This day she had a different phone, I asked if the phone was
locked, she knows that I do not trust her.
In the afternoon I was in a better mode, Sarah had sobered up, I had a
bottle of wine in the house so we relaxed and we drunk this. I drunk
more wine than I normally do, and as I made love to Sarah vigorously
to satisfy her I had a sharp pain in my head, so I immediately stopped
making love to Sarah. I had difficulty making love to Sarah because
she had tried to rip me off for the coffees, I was not turned on. I
supplied food this day, she is just ripping me off.
Sarah saw a CD of the group 5 Star that I had bought in a boot sale,
this is light listening that I like. We both like the same music.
Sarah said she liked 5 Star she was 13 when the disk came out in 1986.
I immediately copied the disk for her, she was pleased with this.
Sarah left at 10:30 PM. Friends picked her up.
Thursday. 12TH March. 2009.
Always tests in Sainsbury's, I ignored these tests.
Sunday. 15TH March. 2009.
I had a long conversation with my sister and we were able to discuss
amicably the problems in our relationship. This conversation helped my
mental state.
Monday. 16TH March. 2009.
Failed test in Sainsbury's with two kids, I looked to see if it was a
test. ( Is it a test syndrome. )
Tuesday. 17TH March. 2009.
I went to see a G.P. Dr Choi. Derby Road Surgery Ipswich about the
pain in my head and a slight nose bleed. Always tests there. As I left
the surgery a little boy aged 5? opened the door for me, I thanked him,
he then proceeded to open the outside door for me, I stopped him doing
this as this outside door leads to a drive which is dangerous. As he
turned to go back in to the surgery I put my hand behind his head to
ensure that the boy could not quickly go back to the outside door.
His mother seemed pleased with this, so was I, there was no sexual
attraction towards this boy. I was glad the empathy had returned this
made me tearful as I walked home.
Note.
The tearful event above indicates mode swings, I am still mentally
unstable. No Delusion!
Thursday. 19TH March. 2009.
A few weeks earlier I had listed my Cd's ready to put in a CD wallet
reducing the space where the CD cases were stored. The Cd's in their
cases were stacked in 6 piles in their correct order for me to
transfer them to a wallet. This day I decided to do this job, all
the Cd's were out of order, and two of the Cd's were missing. This
depressed me, Sarah had stolen these 2 disks that I like.
Friday. 20TH March. 2009.
In Sainsbury's in Ipswich at the check out there was a tall black clad
woman at the check out, she was wriggling and dancing about, I nearly
asked her what her mental disorder was? I did not look, I knew it was
a test. The checkout woman said yes indicating that I was looking at
the woman. The usual stitch up at Sainsbury's.
Saturday 21ST March. 2009.
Various tests on the dock as I came home, there was a boy aged17 and a
woman spotter, when I had passed without looking at either of them I
heard the woman say to the student don't forget to mark it up. I
laughed at this, do they always mark up a truthful account?
Sunday. 22ND March. 2009.
I went to Ipswich Library in Northgate Street Ipswich to research the
Evening Star Newspaper. I assumed staff there were 18 years of age.
The younger woman served me as she turned to get the newspapers that
I wanted I looked at her, she had a good figure, this annoyed the
older woman. When the girl returned I could see that she was younger
aged 14-15 This was a sexual test.
Usual tests then ensued with men, I ignored this stupidity. As I left
I complained to the older woman about the sexual testing. I asked her
to turn up my exact-psychology site on her computer, I then said do
you know anything about that site, she replied no. I then said it is
one of my psychology sites, there is a very good psychology book there,
that I wrote, a free down load, please feel free to read this book: I
then said, obviously you have an interest in psychology. I then left.
Monday. 23RD March. 2009.
I went to Fore Street post office at mid day, always tests there, as I
stood waiting there was a white clad woman jiggling about and brushing
her hair to the right of me. I completely ignore this stupidity, the
woman to the left of me, the psychologist? eventually stepped forward
to the counter. she had a high pitched voice, so I said to her you
have got the voice of a transvestite. This thouroughly annoyed her,
this pleased me. I am becoming more angered and more anti social with
the stupidity of these people.
Note.
Before this time there was a dominant interest in white. I blanked out
the many stupid test projection of white clad people. However, the
weather is cold and I calculated that only 10% of people were white
clad.
Tuesday. 24TH March. 2009.
Sarah stealing my disks has made me very depressed and unhappy this
week. Over half her CD collection I have copied for her, I would have
gladly copied any disks she wanted. I went in to town in the afternoon
as I walked towards Sainsbury's head down, a pink clad pair of legs
came in to view, I looked up it was a Muslim teenage girl, the spotter
behind her laughed as he came towards me.
Wednesday. 25TH March. 2009.
I spoke to my sister on the telephone, in casual conversation I stated
that I have always skated with kids, this was not correct. For 10
years I skated with adults at Rollerbury when this business
flourished in Bury St. Edmund's. For a number of years I Skated at
Rollerworld in Colchester on adult night. I have also skated for a
number of years on mixed sessions.
I prefer to skate with adults, there is always a chance that a child
could be harmed by contact. I only skated with children when there was
no transport for adult skating.
Thursday. 26TH March. 2009.
3:30PM. The police came to see me, I had written a letter of complaint
to the police regards the theft of my Cd's by Sarah. I told the police
that I had copied over half of her CD collection, these were mostly
old disks bought from boot sales. I said everybody has some copied
disks. I decided not to further the prosecution. The police were
relieved as the prosecution of Sarah would destroy her credibility: and
possibly destroy the pending court case with Rose who had habitually
abused Sarah by assaulting her again and again.
Tuesday. 31ST March. 2009.
This day may not be correct. David Spiller came to see me at my house,
he was looking for Sarah, he said Rose had badly assaulted her again.
I was surprised to find that she was back with Rose. I said Sarah was
not here, I had not seen her since the 11TH of March. I explained
what had happened on the 11TH. David Spiller then left.
Thursday. 2ND April. 2009.
A CPN, ( a Psychiatric Community Nurse ), telephoned me in the morning
stating that a professor Peckitt, psychology, St Clements had
contacted her to see if I needed any psychiatric help? I said no
thanks, I was fine, I thanked her, and I replaced the phone
handset
I telephoned the surgery back and asked who had phoned. The
information that I was given was that it was Suzanne Wyard CPN.
I was concerned at her call, and I told the receptionist at the
hospital that I would write.
I interrogate by letter form, I had written to Professor Peckitt
to see what the response was from St. Clements. The letter to
Professor Peckitt is pasted amongst the letters below. If the
authorities want to lock you up, this is the first step of the
procedure to get you locked up or classify you as delusive with
some mental condition or other to destroy your credibility.
However. if you agree you need help from a CPN, you are admitting
that you are mentally impaired, this may effect your credibility.
A CPN is the law, if the CPN falsely states you are suicidal, or,
you cannot look after yourself, or dangerous. A false statement
from a CPN will get you on that first step to being certified
as delusive or in such a mental state as to be a concern to
the mental health authorities. There is a lot of money on the
table to get me discredited or locked up. Remember, I publish
adversity about the local government: they control these
agencies.
A.W.JOHNS,
34 BISHOPS HILL, DELIVERED BY HAND
IPSWICH,
SUFFOLK, 03 04 09
IP38EN.
DATED 02 04 2009
REF 1. \09\0937.TXT
Suzanne Wyard CPN.
Derby Road Surgery,
Ipswich
Suffolk.
This letter published here -
http://www.ipswichswimmingpools.com/5-part14.htm
Hi Suzanne,
Thank you for your concern telephoning me today in concern for my
mental health. Re a communication from Professor Peckitt at St.
Clements that caused you to contact me. I publish issues pertinent to
corporate skulduggery, principally Ipswich Borough Council and
recently, yesterday, a skulduggerous issue that concerns Cephas
Community Care: and an executive of Ipswich blind society. Both
connected to Suffolk County Council.
http://www.ipswichswimmingpools.com/cephas3.htm
http://www.ipswichswimmingpools.com/booty1.htm
Your telephone call to me aroused my suspicion, I am very suspicious
of any dealings with the Ipswich psychiatric community, my very
unsatisfactory dealings with ST. Clements are published in my book
the fiddle found here -
http://www.ipswichswimmingpools.com/
Also the account of my dealings in 2003 with Dr. Dowse Essex
Psychiatric services are found in book 5 on the same site. Dr. Dowse
did not at the time have any idea of forensic sexual testing: Neither
had she read that life on this planet is chemical machine, the recent
reference for this is on a DVD Science lecture Royal Institution
Christmas lectures 2007, Back From The Brink The Science Of Survival
The DVD available here -
http://www.rigb.org/searchControl?action=simpleSearch
Returning to Dr, Dowse.
her incorrect analyses 1. My belief projection in fault delusion
her correct analyses 2. Bipolar.
I was very suspicious of Prof Peckitt's response in the he did not need
to reply to DR Haig the mental health Doctor at Derby Road, I would
like to sight his letter to Dr. Haig. I am asking for this can you
-----------------------------
please have this letter sent to me.
I am in good mental health, I was angry recently for many reasons,
this has gone. I most certainly did not want to harm people: or myself,
I eat well, take all my med's, no problems.
I have to cover my back at every move, hence, my reason for writing to
you and publishing this letter, paranoia, I know what I am up against
in this town.
links will be sent to friends and support agents by e-mail to this
page.
Prof Peckitt's referral to you was very likely a kind response, I hope
that it was.
However, I do not need another incorrect analyses from a healthcare
professional? The stitch up from Dr. Byme St Clements in 1996 was
not only very unprofessional: it was unbelievably despicable.
Nothing comes dirtier than politics.
I thank you,
I am,
Yours Sincerely,
Anthony W. Johns.
P.S. I am in to a lot of projects, please read the two letters to
New scientist the last two appended letters below.
Enc. Re: Books And arts, Ego Tripping NS page 44 21 March 2009.
4 APPENDED LETTERS.
A.W.JOHNS.
34 BISHOPS HILL, DELIVERED BY HAND. 24 03 2009
IPSWICH,
SUFFOLK,
IP38EN.
DATED 24 03 2009
/09/0932.TXT
YOUR REF: As Above
Dr. Haig,
Derby Road Surgery,
Derby Road,
Ipswich.
Dear Dr. Haig,
Re: the last prescription order and the Ventolin Evohaler X 4
still endorsed.
You will see from the copy of the last order, as asterisked, that
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I ordered salbutimol.
--------------------------
You may have thought that requiring 4 of these inhalers, somewhat
unusual. The reason 4 were required is that I always keep a
supply of med's in stock to last longer than the renewal period:
so that I never run out. I date cycle these med's so the most
recent will be taken a month later.
From your records, you will see that only twice in 17 years I
have ran out of med's and have to get an immediate prescription.
I should think all your GP's would be happy if their patients
were so efficient.
I am about to run out of Salbutimol inhalers in the next 2
weeks: and I would like four prescribed.
Current daily use of salbutimol is two puffs at 9 AM, One puff at
1PM, 2 puffs at 7PM. These are the periods when I start to get
asthma and I feel that I need to use these inhalers. All the
other med's I take daily as prescribed.
With the current salbutimol use reduced as described above, I now
generate a lot less phlegm: and I am happy with my health.
I thank You.
Kind Regards,
Tony Johns.
A.W.JOHNS,
34 BISHOPS HILL, RECORDED DELIVERY
IPSWICH,
SUFFOLK, DW 6947 5359 5GB
IP38EN.
DATED 09 03 2009
REF 1. \09\0923.TXT
PROFESSOR PECKITT,
HEAD OF FORENSIC PSYCHOLOGY,
St Clements Hospital,
Foxhall Road,
Ipswich,
Suffolk,
IP3 8LS.
Dear Sir, my psychology changed from heterosexual to a developing
homosexual interest in about the space of a week: caused by abuse
from females in 1996.
I have researched the internet for peer reviewed articles regards
adaptation from heterosexual interest to to homosexual interest
in adulthood. My interest is that I need to sight a peer reviewed
article: or forensic analysed data on the subject where the proof
is for the minimum time scale for such psychological adaptation
in our species. If there is a published paper on this matter, I
would like to sight it.
My assessment of my easy fast personal adaptation in this area
was in my erroneous childhood programming held in sub conscious.
If you have links to internet data that is useful to me, please
respond to valfet@ntlworld.com My current sexual interest is
predominantly heterosexual, I have no interest in having sex with
males, neither do I fantasise about men.
Please confirm whether you hold data on me regards sexual
interests hervested by forensic sexual profilers in the field
that operate in Ipswich. Please release such data under the
F.O.I. act if this is within your remit.
A full analyses of the brain as a computer in my book, The Brain
Natures Own Computer, a free PDF down load, found on my internet
site is found here.
http://www.exact-psychology.com
Please feel free to write to me with comment on this book: if you
read it, or have read it.
I thank you,
I am,
Yours Sincerely,
Anthony W. Johns.
ENC. S.A.E.
There's probably no God.
From: Anthony Johns
To: letters@newscientist.com
Date: 2009-01-24 17:36
Copyright (C) 2009
A.W.Johns.
Please only publish with
my name and address, but
without my telephone
number.
A.W.Johns,
34 Bishops Hill,
Ipswich,
Suffolk.
IP3 8EN.
01473 281769
There's Probably No God.
As an atheist, I personally feel
that there is definitely no God.
Why your magazine refers to God
often in articles or article
titles I find very strange. I do
not read fiction, but I feel that
good fiction writers have probably
been with us for much longer than
10,000 years, and that the Old
Testament and the Dead Sea scrolls
must qualify the incredible
ingenuity and intellect of past
fiction writers.
From: manager@exact-psychology.com to:
To:
Subject: update
Date: Mon 30/03/09 9:35 AM
Anthony Johns Manager.
T 01473 281769
Ed, you may want to add the note below as a footnote to promote a
greater understanding of mental illness.
The free e-book found here is a must for health care professionals,
science teachers, and children: to help them understand mental illness.
There are 200 New Scientist references in this book.
Re: Books And arts, Ego Tripping NS page 44 21 March 2009.
Reading this book review destabilised me mentally for about 60 seconds:
then I very quickly calculated this.
Self is the environmental program you inherit, are conditioned or
programmed in to as you grow up to at any stage of your life until
today. If I had your brain program, I would be yourself: you.
I do not see consciousness or free will as an illusion. I see,
consciousness as the ability to calculate a programmed percentage
of awareness: an awareness to perform requisite duties, to survive in
the programmed personal assessment, of the requisite personal survival
environment.
Thought is requisite installed environmental program A + requisite
installed environmental program B = requisite, created, environmental
program C.
Copyright Anthony Johns. (C) 2009 exact-psychology.com
Friday. 3RD April. 2009.
This week I felt sure that I sighted James Hehir on Ipswich Dock near
his car, I could not be sure that this was He-Hir I was very angry
this week because of recent event and for a few days in my house I
kept saying if that was He-Hir, I should have bashed him. I often
repeated this, I often swore saying I should have bashed the *ucking
*unt.
My house is bugged and I would think this concerned the authorities,
they knew I was angry. Was the telephone call from the CPN the
result of this? I doubt this, but however, you never know.
Sunday. 5TH April. 2009.
The very intimidating police forensic sexual test.
If this was the police, this was very intimidating. This day when I
went to Sainsbury's in Ipswich, as I was leaving the shop there were
three aggressive tall black clad men in the doorway and a girl back
facing aged 7? on the left of the men near the back of one of the men
near an obstacle. I immediately thought this is not in the camera area,
it's too far back. I was concerned for aggression, I was deliberately
tripped up by a person near the door some time ago.
In an instant decision I decided to go near the girl I thought
there was less likelyhood of trouble near the girl. As I approached
her I was looking over her head. I got up to her still looking over
her head and said excuse me, she did not move, I said excuse me again
louder and the girl moved, The nearest back facing man said girl loud
so the others could hear, I walked out of the store with relief when I
got outside past these men. There was no sexual interest in the girl.
Note.
I feel this test was deliberately set up to be intimidating: so that I
would avoid the men. If this was the police, they know my psychology,
I keep away from groups of aggressive looking men.
Monday 6TH April. 2009.
I went to Fore Street post office to collect my pension, as I passed
through the door there was a woman behind me, I said sorry as I almost
shut the door on her, she smiled and followed me in to the shop, there
were no other people in the shop, unusual. At the counter the woman
spoke to Janet the post mistress, she said, that's another one,
presumably referring to me. I thought, oh yes, that was a police
forensic test yesterday. No psychologists anywhere today.
As I returned from town through the dock near the college there was a
woman talking to others looking at me, she said he is very cleaver, I
assumed that she was talking about me in response to the CPN letter
that I had sent to the Doctor's surgery.
Thursday 9TH April. 2009.
To the positive, there has been virtually no psychology testing this
week, nothing near the college, I think they are on holiday, however,
this does not normally stop the testing. This is such a relief that
this has stopped, however, I feel they will be back.
Friday 10Th April. 2009.
Mood swings because of all that has happened to me recently, I had to
take diazipam to sleep at night, the mood swings lasted for a few days.
Saturday 11TH April. 2009.
This event this day recorded a few days later, the date could be
wrong. This event may have happened on the next day, Sunday.
As I walked through the docks a man came towards me with a boy
child aged 2? He was holding the little boys hand. The man aged
25? smiled at me, I smiled back, I thought that he was smiling
because I did not look at the little boy. A few days later I realised
that this was possibly a homosexuality test. I then recorded the
event.
Sunday 12TH April. 2009.
I went to Sainsbury's in Upper Brook Street the cameras there now
extend fully to the entrance door area, as can be seen on the large
ceiling mounted video monitor just past the door.
Monday 13Th April. 2009.
Physical health deterioration. My chest has been deteriorating with a
lung infection. I went to the walk in clinic at the Riverside Clinic
Minor Injuries Unit, in Landseer Road, Ipswich, at 8AM. I was able
to see a Doctor at this time of the morning as the unit was not busy.
The doctor was very helpful and caring, I explained that I thought
the problem was an infection caused by having oral sex with Sarah
the previous month.
I explained this was to try to keep the relationship going as I was
mentally impaired at the time, however, the relationship was now
definitely finished. The Doctor prescribed Amoxcillin 500 MG, I was
happy with this, I have no reactions to penicillin. The Male Doctor
seemed very caring and sympathetic.
Tuesday 14TH April. 2009.
As I walked past 2 men on the dock, walking towards Isac's, public
house, ( this pub used to be called the Malt Kiln ), one man said to
the other, watch your arse, I walked on, at Isac's as I passed the
crowd of drinkers a man shouted out making a remark that I was a
homosexual. He said Here's Gaylord, I put my hand in front of my
mouth, moving my hand, making a boring yawning gesture.
I then held my hand in front of my mouth making a wanker gesture.
A woman laughed. Up until 29-04-09 there has been no further abuse
from this public house as I therapeutically walk past most
evenings, The walks keep me physically and mentally fit.
Friday 17Th April. 2009.
I went to the local Tesco's in Duke Street to buy provisions at
7-15PM There was crowd of black clad people near the door, there
was a boy aged 7? near the doorway. I briefly looked at the boy to
make sure I could get past, and to see if there were any other
obstructions. I did not look at any of the adults. There was no
sexual interest in the boy.
When I got to the check out machine the large security guard stood
near me. I looked at him a little concerned at his close proximity, he
called me a wanker, this this did not bother me at the time, however,
the whole event angered me for a few days.
Monday 20TH April. 2009.
As I walked through Carr Street in Ipswich, ( the main shopping area
), there were a couple of girls walking towards me, one of the girls
said that's the perv, in retaliation I ogled the oldest girl, aged 14?
as I passed them. The oldest girl was very angry at this and said to
me in an angry voice, with a very angry scowl, that's a fail, I
ignored this, and this pleased me for winding her up, them both up?
in retaliation.
Tuesday 21ST April. 2009.
In Sainsbury's, at the check out queue, I quickly left the queue to
get an item I had forgotten, as I returned to the queue there was
a large black clad man next in the queue, I was looking down and
was inadvertently looking at his bottom.
As I left the store the same man was near the doorway his back facing
me, his fingers in a V sign behind his back pointing down. I was not
aware of any sexual interest in this man. In the evening as I walked
along Ipswich dock, a woman as I passed her said to her partner, 'the
lights are back on,' I thought, no they are not.
Thursday 23RD April. 2009.
I went to Tesco's Duke Street nearby at 6:30PM, as I approached the
check out there was a boy aged 9? in the queue, I looked to the right
of me, this is an induced phobia, induced by the sexual testing. I
then sighted a girl 10 feet away aged 9? back facing. I froze, I
thought test, I looked near the girl with my eyes about 30 degrees
to the right of her for a few seconds.
There was no sexual interest in the boy or the girl. As I left the
check out area one of the staff, female manager, thanked the children
and presumably the parents for coming. presumably, they had been
waiting to see if I used the shop. I left the store very unhappy,
this event annoyed and depressed me for 4 days. I heard a man at the
flats adjacent to my house say he's a pervert as I was in my garden.
I feel that this event has endangered my life again. This looking to
the right phobia and freezing is well documented in earlier text
throughout this diary.
Friday 24TH April. 2009.
I went to my sisters for the weekend, the relationship is
deteriorating slowly, however, the break made me feel better, less
depression by the time I left on the Sunday. My physical health
deteriorated over the weekend, chest infection back, loss of voice,
presumably by a bug, immune system may be weak because of the
Amoxcillin.
Tuesday 28TH April. 2009.
As I have not felt well for a month, however, some of this may be
depression causing overall lethargy and slight loss of body
balance. I decided to go to the sexual health clinic at Heath Road
Hospital. Had I got an infection again from Sarah? At the sexual
health clinic my urine sample failed, I was given strong
anti-biotic tablets. I asked for a blood test, I have to go back
after a week for the results. There was no sexual testing at the
hospital, however, I was photographed outside.
Wednesday 29TH April. 2009.
I went in to Ipswich as usual, I started deliberately looking at
women to bring the sexual interest back, however, there was still an
extremely low interest in men. No interest in children, I deliberately
did not look at children.
Thursday 30 April. 2009.
In Ipswich, a man aged 25? crossed my path very close to me his head
was profiled in front of me, I looked, was it a test? there was no
sexual feeling, this felt strange now. The man started to wave his
arms around why I do not know? Perhaps he was happy that he thought my
interest was homosexual?
Friday 1ST May. 2009.
After looking at women for a few days, the sexual interest came back
with a rush today, also an escalated interest in pink: but not
children, I was pleased with this. This proves fast adaptation
particularly how the brain is so plastic in this respect, with such
an unstable brain, in the respect of in this case: the fast adapting
sexual interest brain map.
Notes.
I wanted to keep the relationship with Sarah going for a hitherto
unpublished reason. I knew that a happy stable ongoing relationship
with a female adult partner would stop any sexual interest in
young children, and less sexual interest for young teenagers and other
women. Many men and women keep sexually loving relationships going for
many different reasons.
The testing in the local Tesco's shop and elsewhere in the last 6
months started to make me agoraphobic again, I fought this, I will not
stop using shops where the testing is most prevalent. I deliberately
go for long walks in Ipswich every day to fight the possibility of
being made agoraphobic.
You cannot escape the profilers, if political, or highly motivated,
they will get you where ever you go. An attraction to pink skin on arms
and legs on children and babies came back at a low level about a month
ago, this has now gone, A slight increased interest in the backs of
people came back, this attraction is now reduced today 01 05 09.
I have an intercom at my secure garden gate for callers. This week a
salesman came from Cockram's Newsagents about half a mile away on
Felixtowe Road, I have had abuse from this shop staff. When the man
spoke and said who he was, I replied will you please go away. He
carried on talking in to the intercom for 30 seconds, I was about to
say I nicely told you to go away, just *uck off, when he stopped
talking. I have had gesture abuse at Cockram,s, shop and I refused to
buy an ice cream recently at this shop which was the most expensive ice
cream for a product that I buy a few days a week locally.
I am now more anti social, I am also a lot less well mannered, I often
now forget to say please and the thank you. As of 01-05-09 I have a lot
less care for people. The daily abuse does not help, this is declining
as I usually retaliate verbally or in hand gesture. Sarah is dead in
my head, although I will contact her social worker to protect her
and others if the results are negative as I expect them to be from the
Sexual Health Clinic. I get these results Tuesday, next week. The
chest infection I had went the day after I took the tablets at the
sexual health clinic, and to date, 01 05 09 this has not returned.
You would have gathered that in the last two months I am more mentally
unstable. No Delusion. You can see how empathy in me is dying, anger
and retaliation had started to take over, the continuous harassment and
change of lifestyle over the last 13 years, particularly, the last 5
years since I started to write and publish this chronicle and this
Ipswich Swimming Pools site.
Also, now adding to this mental destability is the knowledge that this
country is very likely to go bankrupt along with many countries
including the USA. After 20 years of paying my bills on time including
credit cards I have an excellent credit record score. This very
likely is going to get trashed in the forthcoming fiasco. China is
very likely going to emerge as the global superpower, the rest of the
world is very likely going to have third world status.
The UK currently is is a deflationary period, when this is over and we
get in to inflation it is very likely to be severe inflation and the
cost of living will rise dramatically. Income will not rise in step.
People on low income will have serious monetary problems.
I am expecting to live in poverty along with most of the people in
this country until I die. There of course is likely to be serious
social unrest. I have lost a lot of money in a bad investment that I
made a year ago when the economy was buoyant. I am not pleased, the
last time a got into financial difficulty was just over 20 years ago:
and this was caused by the stupidity of a bank lending money to the
third world that it could not get back.
This reflected on me, they did not have the money to properly
refinance my business. The business eventually failed. This was
Lloyd's Bank, Now Lloyd's TSB. Their executive greed got them in to
trouble then, just as it has done recently.I should have gone to a
different bank. However, as chronicled earlier, I am a poor
businessperson. The good businessperson is usually driven by greed. I
am not greedy. My science projects have always been my major interests.
I still keep in communication with my sister twice weekly, On one
occasion when I phoned her, she spoke to a friend saying it's my
brother, the friend replied, 'Oh my god', I often hear people say this
to friends as they approach me in Ipswich.
The top two pictures below. The girl on the left I deleted off my
desktop about a month ago. I wanted to stop being attracted to this
image, this is in my assessment, an under legal consent age girl.
The woman next to her is Angelina Jolie. The bottom two pictures, the
woman on the left is Britney Spears, the woman on the right, the
monochrome image: Is Jean Seberg an actress from the 1960's, this
artwork was created as she was in 1960.
The current four images that are on my computer desktop, my pin up's,
the teenage girl as stated was deleted, my X girlfriend Sarah is still
there, I now find Sarah, as expected, less attractive than the other
three images. The image of Jean Seberg I came across about two weeks
ago, I was more struck by this image than any other that I can
remember. Why?
The Jean Seberg image, her hairstyle is boyish. I have always liked
good looking women with boyish hairstyles. I of course never realised
why? Also, is this cleaver bit of artwork as it was in the 60's, the
different profile wall image: I think that this effective stereo
offset profile, accentuates the interest in that a sexually interested
person alternates between the two displayed images in the photograph
picking up various points from each display of liked areas around the
head and face. This amplifies the interest, this certainly happened
with me.
I went to a boys only school. When I was aged 14 in 1960, all school
boys has short back and sided hairstyles. There was mutual petting and
examination with a boy at my age of 12-13. Was the homosexual interest
that later developed in main part a product of this sub conscious
program? Yes, I think so. I was instantly attracted to Hayley Coyne the
moment I saw her at the Broom Hill pool in 1992, Hayley's hair style at
the time was boyish.
Of the four images above when first sighted on a different background,
my computer desktop background is dark, I was mostly attracted to
the top two images, Angelina and the teenage girl, Angelina slightly
more. Britney to me now looks to me in this image as slightly sly.
Sorry Britney! After viewing and getting used to these images on this
light background colour, after going away for an hour to have lunch
when returning, the Jean Seberg image is now again the image that I am
most attracted too.
After typing this up for half an hour and returning to the images, the
Jean Seberg image is now by far the most attractive to me. Getting
used to the change of background colour has now restored the interest
that was previous before the images were presented to me in this page.
Part of this interest, obviously peculiar to me, may be Jean Seberg's
classy conservative style presentation: with no apparent facial
cosmetic makeup
Sunday 3RD May. 2009.
After looking at women for about a week good normal sexual drive for
an average man without a female partner has returned for me. I got up
early as I normally do to go to the Portman Road Boot Sale. There was
no boot sale this day because of a football match. I went to McDonald's
cafe, ( hardly a restaurant ), in Carr Street, I ate a blueberry
muffin, very nice. The time was about 8.30 AM, I decided to go to
Christchurch Park nearby to have a read of my science books.
I found a sunny spot on a bench seat outside Chrischurch Mansion, I
was photographed there by a man with presumably a long range SLR
camera. This did not bother me too much. I left the park at about
9.30AM and went to wait outsite Ipswich Library for it to open at
10AM.
I went upstairs in the library, I read a library magazine for a while,
I then went and asked the ethnic woman in the library for some papers
that I wanted to research. This young woman aged 25? is very fat. As
she turned her back, to go and get the papers I had a good look at her
figure, she is extremely fat, the fat hangs off her waist. I was
disappointed that such a young woman will probably have many ailments,
and possibly disease, and die early, for getting so fat.
Hopefully, advances in medication will soon reduce her fat levels
for the sake of her health. There was very little sexual interest in
this young woman from viewing her rear, but when she returned, a man,
an observer that is usually in the library held his nose so she could
see this. I think that he would have indicated to her anyway that I as
far as he was concerned, I had ogled her. False positives such as this
event often impairs the mental state of the tester: and the victim.
This young woman left the desk, a man took her place while I was there.
When I walked down the stairs towards the exit door in Northgate
Street, ( there are often test here ), a woman aged 25? walked from the
lower floor towards this communal exit. She had a very good figure,
black stockings, short skirt, I was very attracted to her, the spotter
came in the entrance in front of both of us, the spotter held her hand
up as an indication of my interest in this young woman's back view.
As I rode my bike down Lower Brook Street, there was a back facing
child aged 9? with parents walking along the path to the left of me. I
was slightly sexually interested in this child. Was the sexual
interest in this child generated by the interest in the back facing
women that I saw at the library a few minutes earlier? Note, I
have no interest in sexualising a child. I do not want this new
interest to increase.
When I returned home the weather had deteriorated, very overcast,and it
was cold. I decided to go to the cinema. From internet publications
the only two films that I was interested in 1. In The Loop. 2. The The
Boat That Rocked, were not showing in Ipswich. I stayed at home and
worked. This turned out to be a very fruitful work day.
Wednesday 6TH May. 2009.
I had been in to Ipswich and gone out on Monday and Tuesday this week,
however, today I went in to Ipswich, and there was a considerable
adaptation in my sexual interests. Good weather today, and as I walked
the crowded streets particularly Carr Street, I realised that I was
very interested in women's breasts from a distance or near, any colour
clothing, large and small breasts, but white top attire was the
primary colour interest.
I did not ogle the women, or turn my head much to look, just as breasts
came in to view: the now very accentuated interest was there. In Upper
Brook Street a woman and what I thought was a child came in to
view, the woman wore a pink clad top, unusual shade of pink, small
breasts, I looked at her face, she was aged about 25. I was extremely
attracted to her, she was not stunning looking, Why I was so attracted,
to this woman I do not know. Perhaps a different shade of pink? I like
many people are attracted to different.
The person who was nearest, short, slim, black clad, that I thought was
a child, this was a woman. I walked so close to this black clad woman
looking at the pink clad woman's face, the child like woman said, 'oh
excuse me', as I passed her. Why I was so attracted to the pink clad
woman far above any other attraction for a long time I do not know.
Thursday 7TH May. 2009.
At 8:10 AM, I left my house and went to the
Sexual Health Clinic at Heath Road Hospital
for my sexual health test results. As I passed some school
children near the St. Clements mental hospital, the rearest child quite
a large girl, aged 14? white topped, I looked at her nearest breast
as I passed her. She realised this and put her arm up as I passed her.
I ogled the breast of a woman receptionist at the sex clinic, I did not
seen to care whether she noticed me looking.
As I left the desk the receptionist said to a colleague perv, this did
not bother me at the time. I was soon seen by the head nurse, a very
nice man, all the staff are nice, he confirmed as expected NSU
non-specific urethritis,
I suspected a sexual infection as the chest infection that I had
cleared up the next day after being given
1 Milligram of Azithromycin
at the hospital clinic the previous week. Fortunately for me, there
were no other sexual infections or diseases analysed from the blood
tests.
I stated that the infection came from Sarah, condoms kept coming off
because of her psychological damage to me, I could not keep an
erection with her, I had not had sex with any other person. The
Head Nurse was concerned that the problem could be biological, I
replied that I was sure the problem was psychological with Sarah
as I could still masturbate, this was not a problem, he replied
good, indicating his empathy in that I did not have a biological
problem.
I thanked the head nurse and asked whether he was busy as I wanted to
ask a few questions. He said he did not have much time, as he was in
a meeting and had left the meeting to see me. I concluded from this
later that the women at this clinic wanted me out of there,
quite rightfully so, because of my behaviour. When realising
this it made me very unhappy this day as the staff I have met are
all very nice people: caring and helpful at this clinic.
In the evening I decided to go for a bike ride, I often do this time
of the year, I go round all the trading estates in Ipswich yearly to
see which new businesses are open and which businesses have gone out
of business or have moved. I decided to go on a long bike ride, and
I wanted to go to Sarah's flat to see if she had moved.
I spoke to her neighbours, they said she was still there
unfortunately, I replied I thought the council would have got her out
by now with the silliness that goes on there. I did not knock on her
flat door, I was concerned as to who could be there, I will write to
Sarah, I do not want sex with her, I just want my CD's back.
I went to Chantry Shops, at the shops I bought a can of diet coke and
a small snickers bar to eat. As I left the shop, I walked past some
young teenage girls, one of the girls, very slim, aged 13? was wearing
a nice red dress. I was attracted to her although I did not look at
her or the other children When I passed, the girls shouted me to get
my attention to speak to them. I do not speak to anybody that I do not
know now, children like this could say you asked them for sex.
There are cameras everywhere now, camera evidence that you talked to
such children linked to lies of what was discussed could cause very
serious problems. This is stitch up that I do not need. This red dress
teenager caught my eye as she walked away in the distance. I looked at
her as she walked away, there was a sexual attraction, this is normal
for most men.
At least 30 percent of the email that comes in to my mail box, not
recently, spam filters have stopped this, relate to links to seeing
sexy young teenagers. If this was not a general interest with men:
these e-mails never would have been sent, I always have deleted them.
Never click on a sex link, or loads of similar garbage will just
pour in. I like to sight sexy women clothed, unless they are lovers,
however, I prefer lovers clothed: and I like to take their clothes
off whilst kissing, massaging, and petting with them.
With Sarah we made love most days to satisfy her, this I liked, I
did not ejaculate, this also keeps the vagina clean for oral sex
that we both liked. I usually sexually fantasised about Sarah to
orgasm and ejaculation about once every seven days when I was alone.
Often I forced myself to do this just to clear out the chemicals,
that if not refreshed, can cause prostrate cancer. For the last
three years ninety nine percent of the time fantasy is of Sarah,
she knew this, she did not object, I think that she liked the thought
of this.
I went to bed at 10PM, I started to think about the 13 old girl at
Chantry shops, she had made a pass at me, this will always create
a sexual interest for me if a teenage girl does this. However,
sexual interest in females as expected has risen. I last saw Sarah
on the 11TH March when I tried to keep the relationship going. It
is now eight weeks since I last saw her, the love has almost gone.
As explained earlier, a healthy loving relationship with a female,
reduces sexual interest for me and most people in other women and
teenage children.
I started fantasising about the teenager and eventually moved on
to created brain imagery of Sarah's sexual parts of her body,
particularly her closed vagina that I like the recreated imagery
of, this soon brought me to orgasm in fantasy masturbation, recreated
imagery of Sarah soon turns me on. I seem to have reverted back to
1995, Sharon, the slim small child like girl from the children's home
in Crabbe Street aged 16. I liked her in a red dress. We never had sex,
I used to take her for joy rides. The relationship caused me to write
poetry about Sharon, a severely sexually abused child, I called her
Shontell in the poetry titled.
Child Abuse Total Misuse.
Regards the Chantry teenager, I am not interested in entering in to
unlawful sex. Many men like
skinny models
that reflect young tenage bodies, these robotic hair style plastic
looking women did not appeal very much to me. Viewed live on the
street as a single dressed model I would probably find such an
image difference very sexually attractive. Many clothes are modeled by
women without make-up to resemble young teenage girls. The fact that
some men will be turned on sexually uncontrollably by such imagery
and go on to rape teenagers is of little concern to most people in
the business.
Thursday. 7TH May. 2009.
I shopped locally, no tests in the local Tesco's. I forced myself to
masturbate at night to clear out any remaining chemicals or dead
cells, as I thought there may be some dead cells left from the
venereal infection treatment. The generated imagery interest to do
this was of Sarah's sexual parts.
Friday. 8TH May. 2009.
I worked between 8AM and 2PM, then I went in to Ipswich to do grocery
shopping. The sexual drive was much less, this may have been because
I masturbated on two consecutive days. The weather was colder, so
most women wore coats or jackets. I could not accurately gauge
the increased interest in in women's breasts, this I wanted to do to
see if the interest had dropped. I wanted the interest to drop.
I decided to get a bus as I was heavily laden, as I sat waiting for
the bus, three woman in a group walked past, one of the women said,
I am sure that she was referring to me, 'that's a sick one'. When I
returned home the 'that's a sick one remark depressed me. I wished
that I had asked to speak to the women, saying, such sick people, as
you think I am, are caused by society, we all start off with a blank
slate, society, you, makes us what we are, you caused this.
In the evening, I decided to go for a bike ride, I wanted to check
out the Greenwich housing estate, then Gainborough and Nacton housing
estates, and business estates to observe change. I looked round the
small business estates on Landseer Road and then went up Sandy Hill
Lane nearly to the Anglian Water sewage treatment plant. I left my
house about 7:30PM I went up Bishops Hill in to Nacton Road and
cut through to Cliff Lane Shops I was looking in the Deja Vu shop,
and a teenage boy with his girlfriend passed behind me. As the couple
got nearer, the girl exclaimed, ''Oh My God', he'll soon be dead'.
I thought this was a very unusual statement.
As expected, there were vacant business sites, particularly, as
expected the Volvo concessionares site where thousands of new cars
used to be kept awaiting distribution across the UK. Then I went
round the nearby Greenwich Estate, this is Hawke Road Roebeck Road,
Etc. I used to work most days on these council estates when I had
my television rental business until 1995.
Then on to the Gainsborough Estate Reynolds Road Turner Road Etc.
Clapgate Lane, then on to Nacton Road to the end of the shops going
towards Ipswich, then to Felixtowe Road near the Aldi Supermarket,
returning home along Felixtowe Road to Bishops Hill. I observed
all as I went, particularly the shops: to see what had changed or
closed. As I cycled round, I also worked out a different approach for
one of my projects, an electronics design project. It was a nice
bike ride, I felt very refreshed when I went home. I enjoyed the bike
ride.
The Greenwich housing estate was tidier, not many old cars and rubbish
in the gardens now, presumably IBC now monitor this, and address the
non conformers. I was disappointed to see the lack of double glazing
on these houses, these houses are large, difficult to heat, most of
these people are on low incomes, their heating bills will be
expensive. I only saw four people on this estate. two 12? year old
rough looking boys near the shops in Frobisher Road. One person was
a man repairing his car. The other was an older woman walking. This
estate used to have a lot more people moving about on a reasonably
warm summers evening.
The shops were reasonably busy on Reynolds Road but not many people
moving about away from the shops. Clapgate Lane looked a lot better,
A children's centre has been built, a new library is being built.
Nacton Road and Felixtowe road looked about the same. In my excursions
around Ipswich this week there were more businesses shut down on the
smaller trading estates. The best piece of modern architecture in my
opinion that I viewed was the Suffolk County Council Building in
Russell Road. It is quite a palace, is this why no internet pictures
were easily found?
The analyses of the shops was further disappointing, there were more
fast food shops that contribute more to obesity than other forms of
cooking, more poodle parlours, these are what I call hairdressers,
more betting, shops where a high percentage of punters spend money
when they should be spending this money on their children. There was
about a third of the businesses that do not produce a product that is
necessary including banks and building societies that just push and
pull points, keeping as many points as they can for themselves.
Points, this is all that money is.
Let us hope that this much better than the past for most people in the
U.K. This still inequitable time period, just a glitch on the
Geologic Calendar
soon passes to something much better. The capitalist system can only
work with boom and bust: it will gradually change down to a communist
system far more honest than the other global communist systems that
have evolved and been tested, some of these systems now disbanded.
Notes.
I expected that when the relationship with Sarah ended that because of
the psychological damage she imposed upon me: I expected an increase
in preferring to look at the backs of women's heads to increase. This
has not happened, good.
As of today I am more concerned for my life because of the
girls statement yesterday at the Cliff Lane shops. Re:''Oh My God',
he'll soon be dead'. Because of the failed test in Tesco's
nearby recently, 17TH and 23RD of April, I am sure the video was
circulated locally, and my assessment of the paranoia and stitch
up in the flats, third floor balcony, that overlook my house. I am
sure that I have been stitched up by adults saying that I look at
their children, and that I look at adults backs, I of course do
not do this, what else they say I do goodness only know.
These sort of people are very likely to believe gossip that I am a
sex offender, which of course I never have been. I went out to
my bin to empty some rubbish, there is a fence at the bottom of
my garden, I heard a woman say to presumably her children,' you
can't play on the balcony because of the pervert'. I often hear
doors slam when I go in to my garden. The up side is that the people
that used to congregate, including children, on this balcony making
a lot of noise are now not there. Was the girl last night from the
flats, is there a conspiracy there to kill me. The slight paranoia
is back. The profiling of me is overall less this week.
If political, the psychologists screw your head up, come back again
and again adapting your brain until they get you. This is what they
do. This is their business!
Saturday. 9TH May 2009.
I went in to Ipswich in the afternoon. I walked along Fore Street and
turned in to Orwell Place. Just round the corner there was a woman
with a boy child near her, is it a test syndrome? I very briefly
looked at the boy without moving my head, the scruffy spotter over the
road shouted blinked to indicate that I had looked at the child fast.
There was no sexual interest in the boy.
I crossed the road and took my usual route through an alley between
the Coop pharmacy and the Coop shop going towards Carr Street. There
was an aggressive man facing a shorter man ,the shorter man had his
back to me in this alley I did not look at any of them. When I got
close the aggressive man went in to the coop pharmacy, was this a test?
I do not know.
I turned left in to Carr Street, the street was busy, on the left side
of me there were two women and a child, the child aged 6? white topped
opened her legs when I got close, I took no notice of this silliness.
One woman said to the other,'Oh boring today'. I walked on there was
no sexual interest in this child.
I crossed the road to go to Maplins, shop, I had been there a day
earlier. Just inside the door there was a black child aged 7? back
facing with a spotter, I very quickly looked at the boy, is it a test
syndrome? As I was being served the shop person a short man who I
believe used to be manager made a wanker sign as usual. Still
shopping, as I walked through Sainsbury's a female manager obstructed
me, smiling, I said I was sorry to her, my subservient mode, and walked
on.
As I walked down Fore Street there was a boy aged 5? back facing,
looking through a shop door, I could not see a parent, I banged on the
door, the male carer came to the door. I said I cannot see a parent
for this boy, the man stepped outside and said ' here comes his
mother', the mother was walking towards us about 30 yards away. I did
not say anything, I walked away, I passed the mother, I looked at her
expressionless. The heightened interest in breasts has reduced.
This day a child aged 9 was kidnapped within 2 miles of where I live.
A quick thinking person saw the child being forced in to a car, The
kidnapper was soon caught before he could harm the child. I had no
knowledge of this until a week later, however, I felt the tension
rise in the area with further hostility towards me.
Sunday. 10TH May 2009.
I started work at 7AM, My sister telephoned at 7:45AM as arranged, and
we spoke for quite a while. I am happier with her now, we are getting
on well. I decided to go to Portman Road boot sale, quite an increase
in gesture abuse at this sale this day, this did not bother me to much.
I bought one CD from the last stall that I visited, an Allison Moyet CD
titled Hometime, I had not seen this disk anywhere before.
I went to McDonald's and then on to Christchurch Park, there was a war
memorial service this day and as I sat reading outside Christchurch
Mansion that was open and people were going in and out of the front
door, I heard the Ipswich Mayor and his entourage was due soon. I did
not really want to see the fat pompous ass David Hale, I did not want
to bring my breakfast up in front of him, so I left.
In the library the fat ethnic girl was on the ground floor, she was
dressed in her nationalities traditional dress hiding her shape, the
psychological damage the week before had left it's mark, well girlie,
if you want to play games: there is always the chance of losing. You
lost. I went upstairs and did some research, surprise, surprise, no
profilers today.
I went to Felixtowe in the afternoon by bus, I went for a long walk,
the increased sexual interest of late had reduced dramatically: thank
goodness for this. Upon returning to Ipswich my push bike that has a
laser cut key motorbike chain on it that I tied to a metal fence had
been stolen. I was not pleased at this, however, I had enjoyed the bus
ride and the Felixtowe walk. I was not going to let this event upset me
too much. Whatever life throws at you: you have to rise above to stay
in the game: adapt or die.
I decided to do some gardening in the evening, my thoughts return to
Sarah, Sometimes I am angry, sometimes I have fond thoughts for
her,the relationship was very good at times, Sarah could be really
good fun. The antics of her family and some of her friends that to her
face on many occasions I referred to as Muppet's and the meetings with
people at her flat, the altercations there, and stupidity between them
as 'Muppet Shows'.
My thoughts return to the large vegetable garden that I used to keep
20 years ago and the parallel between Sarah as a nymphomaniac and
this garden. With a large vegetable garden or large flower garden you
have to attend to it every day, you really have to put your back in to
it every day to bring it to fruition just as the same as with a
nymphomaniac. If you do not work at it hard it soon goes wild. Bless
Her, none of us can help what we are.
Monday. 11Th May 2009.
I went to Ipswich Police station at 8:30AM to report the bike theft
although I feel that this is futile. I went to Sainsbury's, I bought a
pint of milk, I decided to go to the customer service checkout near
the door, I wanted to avoid Sarah's stepfather and mother who were in
the store, the stepfather that I had assaulted. I decided not to speak
to them.
I was going to ask whether he had finally got his leg over Sarah now I
was off the scene, I was also going to say how is Legover Lill
referring to Sarah, I was also going to add that I will send them a
copy of the book that I will write about Sarah called
(C).The Curse Of A Nymphomaniac,
I would have added which one of you can read? All of this went quickly
through my head. I decided not do this, it could get very silly, I was
not in a good mode because of the theft of my bike. Note. The curse of
a Nymphomaniac is the curse bestowed on such a woman by Nurture,
there is no evidence for a genetic influence, although genes for this
mental condition will be expressed by nurture.
Things did not get better at the check out, I gave the woman aged 60?
ten pounds, she short changed me, this is about the fourth time this
has happened in about a year at Sainsbury's this is quite common,
Sarah had been short changed many times in this store. I complained,
saying this often happens, the woman produced 5 pounds from under the
till saying very passively, 'sorry' I complained a bit more saying I
publish a lot of stuff on the Internet, I said I need a pen camera to
publish photographs of shop staff crooks. I left the store.
Receipt Details.
S/SKIMMED MILK 0:86
1 BALANCE DUE 0.86
CASH 10:00
CHANGE 9.14
CO316 #0044 9:25:27 11 MAY 2009
SOO75 R101
I have a Doctors Appointment at 3PM to try and find out what my skin
problem is. DR. Chaudhdry. Was this caused by washing powder or dirt
this winter? I usually list my concerns on paper before seeing a G.P. I
advise people to do this, often when a person goes to see a G.P. They
forget to describe the symptoms properly, or forget to tell the doctor
a further problem. This day I decided to write a letter.
A.W.JOHNS,
34 BISHOPS HILL,
IPSWICH,
SUFFOLK,
IP38EN.
DATED 11 05 2009
REF 1. \09\0943.TXT
DR. CHAUDHDRY,
DERBY ROAD SURGERY,
DERBY ROAD.
IPSWICH.
SUFFOLK.
Dear Dr. Chaudhdry,
my reason for seeing you today is a skin problem, this may be a
disease. I am on low income and In the winter I keep the
temperature at 13C in my house to save money. To compensate for
this I wear thermals tops and bottoms: and layers of clothes. I
generally change the thermals every two weeks, underpants every
3 days. I do not smell, or people would soon tell me of this.
This winter the laundrette that I used issued my clothes to the
wrong person, it took 6 weeks to get them back, I wore the
thermals for this period of time. This has caused a skin problem
that still persists two months later.
Th skin is sensitive on the arms and back and there are spots and
raised areas that irritate. The irritation is worse if this back
skin is overheated after long walks or laying in bed on my back
with too many clothes on.
I bath every three days, I now cannot afford to bath daily.
Please advise a better hygiene regime if you think this is the
problem. The laundrette washing powder may also be the problem.
Please advise the known less irritating of the soap powders. I
may have to get a washing machine so I can change body contact
clothes more regularly, and bath daily. I hope that I have not
permanently damaged my skin.
I thank you,
I am,
Yours Sincerely,
Anthony W. Johns.
I went to the surgery early as usual, I was a able to see Dr.
Chaudhdry early at 2:45 PM. A very nice lady, I could not look at her,
I was afraid of my eyes dropping to her breasts. This happened
because I found that I was looking at one of the receptionists breasts
without realising it at the doctors surgery the week before. Another
woman in the reception area was not pleased that this happened. I
explained to Dr. Chaudhdry that I could not look at her directly as I
talked to her, and that this was a phobia, I said this was not a
problem, I cope with this.
Dr. Chaudhdry said the skin problem was dermatitis, she prescribed 1.
an emulsifying wax and yellow soft paraffin ointment. 2. light Liquid
Paraffin bath additive. 3. Aqueous Cream. Dr. Chaudhdry said to make
another appointment to see her in a months time to check my skin
again. From this I concluded that if my skin was not much better then
a different treatment or a specialist referral would be made.
Regards my personal hygiene Dr. Chaudhdry said taking a bath every 3
days was fine, this stops over exposure to soaps. I thanked Dr.
Chaudhdry and left her surgery. There were the usual holding of ear
gestures in LLoyd's chemist on Felixtowe Road, so I said that I would
get my medication in Ipswich Town centre.
This day did not get better, I went for a walk, I called at Tesco's
nearby, I man outside asked for instructions. I had my back to the
store doors. After speaking to the man, when I turned to walk in to
the store a male member of staff aged 25? almost fell over as he tried
to get up from kneeling on the floor. I said to him I hope you were
not making silly gestures behind my back, I am aware of the silliness
that goes on in this store. If this silliness that I feel is being
published to people near my house, if I get attacked because of this
silliness, all hell is going to break out in this store.
At the check out the man spoke to the older manageress, he said: the
pervert just threatened me, it sounded like a cry for help from mummy,
' help mummy ',the woman nearby had her finger in her ear indicating
paedophile. The fat bouncer as I left also had his finger in his ear.
Tuesday 12TH May 2009.
I went to Sainsbury's in Ipswich, I asked to see the manager about the
thieving staff in his store. I spoke with the manager, a MR. Warren. I
explained the situation, as expected, he did not want to know. He did
not want to view the internet publication or have any knowledge of it.
He suggested I phoned the store and left the details. Note. Telephone
calls are not legal, it is very likely no action will be taken to remove
the crook, as most shop staff are crooks. I stated you do not want to
know, you do not want anything published about your thieving staff. I
said no more and left the store.
On the other side of the road, surprise, surprise, there a tall lady
25? With short boyish hair, I ignored her, the psychologists never
give up. There will be more of these short haired women presently
to ignore. I know what I like sexually, this is what I publish. Not
in a good mode I walked home. In mid afternoon as I turned in to
Ipswich dock front and walked towards Isaac's pub there were a lot of
black clothed men facing me, a man behind me shouted that's the
pervert. I put my hand in the air without moving my head and made a
wanker gesture just as I was aware of a group of children aged 9? a
school parade, all black clad, walking towards me, towards the right
of me.
I did look at any of these people, I just walked on. I would imagine
this lot was Social Services and IBC, a turn out in response to my
recent publication above in reference to them. I do not cover up my
inappropriate behaviour as most government agencies do I publish it.
How many children have gone missing from children's homes? they do
not know. How many people fiddle cash in local government? Most of
them in back handers and other ways. If caught out, most of it is
covered up. This government wanted to cover up M.P's fiddles.
Much more alarming, type or copy and paste, exclude the brackets,
( dunblane Tony Blair paedophile ) in to google's search bar, have
a good read of the sites on the first google page. Most of what I
write regards my sexual interests, which is normal for most men,
upsets young women, mostly married women. Well the bad news is your
husbands and lovers will never disclose that they have similar
interests to me that they keep under control like me. Wait until you
have lived to old age and are worldly wise, you have a lot of
information to take in on life.
Regards
Miss Hayley Coyne
when she was aged 14, I described her good
figure and her large breasts to an older woman that I still
confide in and the forthcoming court case in 1992. I described
how I did not want to see Hayley in court crying if I pleaded not
guilty. This elderly woman, highly intelligent, replied that the
judge, presumably male, would have loved to have seen Hayley.
Do not forget the cover up of the swimming pool fiasco in 1992.
1996 that I exposed on this site, and was there a
conspiracy at IBC
to kill an unwary member of the public to keep this pool
permanently closed? I managed to get a
preservation order, Grade 2 Listing
on this pool whilst most of the cabbage heads in this town were
watching the garbage on TV and stuffing take-away food as fast as
possible in to their heads. Oblivious to what was going on, that
IBC wanted to close the pool: and very likely quickly demolish it to
stop any further argument and interest in this pool.
IBC, could open this pool tomorrow, they have plenty of money, your
money, they do not want it open. They hate the exposure on this
site of their skulduggery, this is sour grapes, this is why this pool
is not open. This is why they do not back it for other agency's funding.
IBC do not want a pool managed better than they could ever run it.
Notes.
Well, I have had a couple of weeks to write this crap on this web
page, crap, because as far as I am concerned in thought of the
content on this page, this has very little scientific value. Science
is all I am interested in. However, it does show the gradual change
to lack of empathy and induced anger induced by bullying at any stage
of a persons life.
I am not prepared to publish my occasional thoughts in anger and
horrendous schemes of retaliation: if this bullying persists, to the
point of the far escalated thoughts of retaliation and action. I doubt
this will ever happen, but who knows?
Why did I attack our current
Mayor Mr. David Hale.
in this publication? I attacked him because about ten years ago I
sent several letters to David Hale as a councillor along with other
IBC councillors: and previous mayors about safety matters and other
matters pertinent to the Broom Hill Pool. None of these people
ever replied. Mr. Hale ceased his term in office on the 20TH May
2009.
I might respect mayors a bit more if they did not have that gold
garbage round their necks, signifying wealth, Millions of people
have been killed on this planet by people trying to take possession
of this still valuable metal. Personal wealth, this is all most of
these council people are interested in. The rest of the dress seems
very outdated, do young people want to see this garbage? I doubt they
have respect for any of this.
The Suffolk County Council palace, fit for a
Queen.
But worth 220k Salary? The governments and the councils want to
communicate with young people. I think they do it very well. Young
people know that the governments ministers are mostly crooked along
with the rest of the fat cats that have brought this country to it's
knees. Does Andrea Hill CEO of SCC have other vested interests
bringing her further wealth?
Just over the road is the IBC palace, the CEO there
James Hehir
as well as his massive salary has many paid interests in many
different organisations, and probably earns much more than Andrea
Hill. Yes, young people are aware of this. I think these
organisations that run our country have communicated very well
with young people. This is why the prisons are overflowing.
Friday 15TH May 2009.
I went to Stowmarket by bus in the afternoon to pick up some
electronic printed circuit boards that I had designed and asked a
manufacturer to manufacture for me for my
New Audio Power Amplifier.
When I was waiting for the bus to return there were some people and
three young teenage girls nearby, there seemed to be a lot of unusual
arm movement and walking across the road doing the same. I ignored
most of this. One girl said referring to me, 'he's a weirdo', A
man aged about 25 walked past with a very young female child at his
side. All the girls exclaimed, 'Ooh, isn't she lovely, she's lovely',
Ooh, very maternal at this age.
I considered the many such maternal young women when they get married,
they've got what they wanted, the child, sex drive dwindles with many
such women after childbirth, they are very content. They let their
bodies get fat along with many of their friends and are aghast at the
information when they find out their husband has shagged a slim woman,
often a prostitute. The fat club then has a meeting, hubby finds
himself in the divorce court, if not, the marriage is never the same.
Lambs to the slaughter, I overheard a very young woman and her partner
talking, she said,' I saw the salesman', he was a really nice guy.
Note. there are no salesmen that are not nice, many sales-people are
fantastic actors they put on a very good show. Sign Here, will you
scratch my order pad? Clinched That Sale: lets go to the
boozer.
The bus arrived, about ten people were waiting to get on the bus, I
was nearly last in the queue. Two young women with push chairs
went first, I beckoned to a man to go next, he pointed for me to go
first. When I stepped up to the back of the woman, I thought look at
her pony tail, see if there is any reaction from anybody.
I looked at the pony-tail it was different, difference always attracts,
it was flared out towards the rear with lots and lots of small
wet look curls. I love wet small curls, I like to lick them. This
held my gaze for a few seconds. The woman got on the bus, another
woman who was last in the queue walked off. I thought nice one,
psychologist perhaps.
I consider that the psychological damage from Sarah and other women
abusing me of late may have increased the sexual interests in looking
at the back of women. How many psychologists would interpret this as
a desire to attack or hurt women from the rear? This is an interesting
scenario.
In Ipswich as I walked through Carr Street two young women were
walking towards me. One of the women said, ' I Don't like him', the
other woman must have asked why? The reply was, 'he's a writer, I
don't like what he writes'. I thought things are getting better,
she did not reply he's a wanker, or he's a pervert.
Notes.
I feel that there are explanations needed for the foregoing text
The small stature girl from the children's home was aged 16, although
very mentally inferior. When I first saw her I thought that she was
a child prostitute, if she was so, then I wanted to know how she
managed to get to such a situation. From the moment that I first
saw her I knew she was writing material. I took her for rides in my
car to Felixstowe and other places in Suffolk. I investigated her,
and from the information that I was given Sharon was sexually abused
by her stepfather. Sharon talked of voices in her head, this produced
the poetry -
Child Abuse Total Misuse.
Sarah. My relationship with Sarah, was good fun a lot of the time,
she has a great sense of humour, humour is personal our mutual sense
of humour was very very compatible. Sex. Sarah was the best lover
out of very many lovers to date. Also, we both had a great liking
to listening to love songs: particularly, recent love songs. Although
Sarah had learning difficulties, although her age in our 5 year
relationship was from 29 to 34 my assessed mental age for her was 14.
However, she had developed an amazing memory for music track titles,
when she saw an artist she liked on a second hand CD album at boot
sales or charity shops she would look at the individual tracks to
see if there were track titles she knew. Her memory was phenomenal
for this. Also, soaps she watched, she can remember actors and
situations going back for years.
I did not find Sarah unintelligent or boring, however, much of this
was masked because I was so much in love with her before she was
unfaithful to me for the third time last year. Obviously, I did not
trust her, and I investigated her for fidelity almost every time I
saw her by having oral sex with her fingering her deep in her vagina
as I was licking her clitoris to effect heightend orgasms for her.
I nearly always had oral sex with Sarah to see if I could taste
another mans sperm. I purposely did not ejaculate inside her to keep
her vagina clean. Obviously Sarah bathed daily and washed her vagina,
but one of her obsessions was to use soaps on her vagina. This on
many occasions caused thrush. I used to inspect her vagina for
thrush. I used to masturbate at home fantasising about her once a
week, she knew this. I very rarely ejaculated inside Sarah, I used
to keep my penis erect for her and inside her making love to her,
and letting her ride me, in all, excuse the term, for about 20 hours
per week. I loved every minute of her love and her in my arms.
From Memory, may not be exact. Between March and May last year I
could taste sperm, I asked Sarah every week if she was having sex
with another man she always lied saying no. This caused me to
turn on her, the double con that I always use, using her as the love
for her slowly decayed over the next 10 months. I was collecting
information for the book that I knew that I would write about her
as a nymphomaniac.
Women Lie More Than Men.
This women lying more than men is explained why in detail in text
and graph in my book
Surrogate Daughter.
As of today, I still have fond memories of
Sarah, the bad memories are slowly decreasing as is normal for me
with her. I keep a clothed picture of her on my desktop, and a
framed same larger picture on the wall in my bedroom. Up to
25 05 07 my interest was slowly decreasing in the computer red
clad image, but writing about her and returning to the love in
the relationship has at this time rekindled my feelings for her
but I will not go out with her as my lover again. This is
indicative of a Surrogate Daughter, Good Girl Gone Bad,
situation, where the love reduced in time is always there.
However, she is not replaced, blanked, with another lover.
Interestingly, Sarah usually goes back with old boyfriends.
There was an element of Surrogate Daughter / Surrogate Father in
this relationship in our mutual childish humour and my otherwise
adult mental state and my slightly flippy mental state and her
greater flippy mental state in our mutual differing levels of
O.C.D. -
Schizophrenia -
Paranoia.
My current returning interest in Sarah is definitely because of
what I am writing about her, the thoughts of the loving sexual
side of the relationship, the good times especially the fun.
Also, there is a recent increased interest in the colour red,
this could be caused by my rekindled feelings and her red clad
image on my computer.
The last time I saw Sarah in a drunk unhappy mental state as we
passed a wedding gown shop, Sarah wanted me to look at wedding
dresses. I was now not interested in this. At one time I wanted
to marry her, I wanted Sarah to be my wife. All Sarah had to do
was reduce her alcohol intake: and stay faithful to me. Her
increasing drunken state, and constant infidelity and habitual
lying had killed my interest in marriage. By this time I was
beginning to realise that Sarah was very stupid, love blinded
this, most of her family are similar, I knew this, and between
them they had made me equally stupid and mentally ill and unstable.
Sarah increased sexual drive in me, when I spoke to her on the
telephone I would soon get erect, I often told her this, she liked
this. We had a few dirty phone conversations that she liked mostly
about the fantasy of what I was going to do to and with her when I
saw her that evening. When I used to use the toilet at home to
urinate daily I would think of her sexually every time I handled
my penis.
I always looked forward to having sex with her, she was at times so
loving and gentle, and at other times the most aggressive and dynamic
lover in my life: absolutely all woman in this respect. Never have I
fantasised or been so keen to have sex with a lover. She was always
as keen to have sex. I am very punctual, and when arriving at her
flat Sarah would be organised and bathed, and more often than not we
would be in bed kissing and petting within 2 minutes of me arriving.
This has never happened with any other lover.
Towards the end of the relationship, I wanted to keep the relationship
going because I do not trust any other person in this town who could
be linked to IBC or the mental health services. I could be stitched up
as a sex offender or delusory with such a person. Also, as stated
earlier, I wanted to keep the relationship going as the sexual
stability that I felt would halt any sexual interests developing in
young children because of the ongoing abuse from adults, such adult
abuse driving down sexual interests to children. Sexual interest
has increased in children by a small amount, but this is well under
control. I do not want to sexualise children, and can never envisage
doing so.
Any normal person mixing with people that have a more silly, lying,
or a dishonest mental state will soon become mentally destabilised.
If you are unfortunate enough to have a mental disorder: then make
sure that you only mix with people that are more mentally stable
than yourself. However, this will never create good writing material.
Creative artists. Many are born out of child abuse and
general abuse, these people are often self taught and very creative
writing of their abuse. Here is a prime example.
Being Eminem
Eminem's song
Stan,
was the most moving song for me, it is one of the very
few CD singles that I have ever bought.
Tears in my eyes. My thoughts return to
Sharon.
I often have tears in my eyes when I read the poetry that she
created. 'You have to be abused, feel child abuse,' know child
abuse, to write such poetry. With the recent abuse I have developed
an imaginary friend Murry I often talk to him, it used to be talking
to god as a child daily. I am glad that I have rejected that idea.
My thoughts return to Hayley in 1992 and what I had planned for a
girlfriend before I met Hayley. The slightly younger woman that I
invisaged me having a relationship with, the psychological pair
bond I had planned would have been extreme. Would I have been unlucky
and say after a couple of years of marriage my wife would die.
Would I have committed suicide, or just be a vegetable for 7 years
on valium like my mother when dad died.
Any untruthful input to a brain no matter how innocent such a
projection of lies innocent or otherwise as seen by the effect on
me is a perversion. Hayley, although innocent of any maliciousness
towards me was the greatest pervert I had met in my life. The word
Science in an untruthful context was unbelievably for me completely
destructive. It's Snakes And Ladders, meet a snake and you quickly
come down the ladder.
I think in one respect my father had a bad influence on me. I think
that he was concerned that I would become a homosexual. When I was in
early puberty when we went out in the summer, just the two of us, we
always went on the top deck of a double decker bus. Dad would always
bring my attention to exposed cleavage of large breasted women that
were walking that we were looking down on. I know he was impressed
later with my girlfriends large breasts, ( later to be my wife ).
As she was sitting in an armchair he would often be above her talking.
I equally so, if not greater, was absolutely impressed with her large
firm breasts. I could not keep my hands and lips off them.
My thoughts return to Sarah, I fell in love with Hayley as a Surrogate
Daughter because my youngest daughter, my favourite, had left home.
both daughters and wife had gone. I was alone and unknowingly: very
vulnerable. Sarah's 4 children were taken in to care, Quote from
Sarah, 'it is like having your heart and guts ripped out.' This would
add to her need for the replacement love and cuddles. From the
information that she gave me about her sex life, she however has
always been a nymphomaniac.
My thoughts return to
Billy Brennon
and his wife Lynda we used to be good friends a long time ago, I think
also Billy was confused by myself and my wife's unusual behaviour in our
marriage. His Son Liam went on to university, Billy and Lynda achieved
all that I wanted to achieve in that they were able to get a child to
university, I hope that his son has done very well. However, their
marriage was very stable, far different from my marriage: because of
the dishonesty by both partners in our marriage. My sister was far more
successful in life than me, she did not suffer child abuse, and grew
up far more moral.
Billy came up from the ranks,
A Fantastic Sportsman ,
with a fantastic sense of humour, his parents lived on
the Whitehouse Estate, His abuse as a child made him an extreme
fighter, Child abuse often creates fighters. Billy's abuse was from
another child destroying one of his eyes. This made Billy an extreme
fighter, an unbelievable Karate expert, no boy was ever going to hurt
him again.
The Whitehouse estate along with Whitton were the people that used the
Broomhill pool more than most. I hope Billy has good memories of
Broomhill as a child: and is a supporter for the re;opening of the
pool. I also hope that he has not been corrupted by the hierarchy of
IBC, and that he has remained completely honest.
That's enough thoughts of the past, living in the past is a path to
dementia, positive future, live in and look forward to the future. I
have been writing and slowly constructing my electronics project at
the same time, I have a lot of projects that I want to complete:
and many more that I could do.
Music is personal for everybody. For me and Sarah it is Rhythm and
Blues. I analyse the content of modern love songs that I love to
listen too, and there are three elements that for me make a currently
brilliant love song presentation 1. Really good poetic rhyme
modern setting lyrics. 2.
Good Poetic/Artistic License.
3. Really good overall presentation of the accompanying
music timed to the beat.
The amazing creativity of some producers in this art in two recent
presentations that I like are 1. Pussy Cat Dolls PCD. 2.
Rihanna Good Girl Gone Bad. Both these Cd's were played over
and over again, the Rihanna CD I have played for nearly a month
almost daily, the tunes and the lyrics on many of the tracks go round
and round in my head daily when I am not listening to the music.
Poetic Licence. PCD I loved Don't-Cha, Won't-Cha. Must stick with Chu,
I felt was overdone. I want your badge, nicely put.
The PCD album cover
the girls were so slim you could almost see through them, I saw
through them and realised their super slim bodies had been
Digitally Adapted-Airbrushed.
Poetic License, Rihanna, Dirty-Dirdee Naughty-Nordee Umbrella-
Umberella ella-ella-ella Etc. The lyrics on the Rihanna album for me
are so good to almost be unbelievable. Many of the lyrics are sex
related same as the PCD album, however, this keeps the prams full
and life going on this planet. In further analyses, young women are
leading in sexual advance to a partner, the situation as it was 20
years ago of men mostly leading is now equal or reversing or
reversed. Girls are definitely on top.
This effect of extra music and lyric data going through my brain is
not good for mental stability when a lot of other problems and
creative work is also going through my head. However, good tunes and
good lyrics are addictive for me as for many people. I have been like
this with love songs with good content and presentation for 35 years.
If my assessment is correct music will cease, there will be no need
for the communi-sing influence of music and other arts and sports after
The Armageddon.
This was worked out by me between 1989 and and 1991, and should be
presented in my book
Programming Basic For Eternal Life.
That all brains globally are searching for the truth in almost
every art and interest in the personally not realised unconscious
search for eternal life: for ones self and ones species. These
brains globally, they will quickly come together just before the
assessed Armageddon, and in this search and realisation it will be
recognised by people globally that we are just evolved chemical
machine.
That music and communication arts will probably cease after the
Armageddon, ( their work will be complete ), is definitely published
in the first even more badly written first text only presentation of
this book now published for the first time on the internet in the
original single part text only format 294,090 bytes last adapted
16TH April 1992. This book now zipped in to a down load folder for
download. The folder is titled pbfela92. There is a reference in this
book to the
BroomHill swimming pool
when I was using the pool in 1990 and the happiness that I always
found there before and at that time.
Download pbfela92 Now.
In my recent escalated mental destability of the last few months,
( No Delusion ), this caused by government and banks crookedness
and other silliness. My pension along with other peoples pension
is very likely to decrease because of the worsening financial crises.
Roaring inflation is very likely to happen very soon. Interest rates
on mortgages may return to the fiasco of 1991 when they rose to 15 per
cent. Credit cards may go up to 20 or even 25 per cent.
This I knew four or six months ago. This has caused me considerable
mental impairment knowing that I will probably be made bankrupt along
with millions of others in this country with excessive credit card
debt. I have recently taken out a low interest fixed interest loan,
this has taken the financial pressure off me. ( I never expected to
get a loan in this financial climate, although my credit record is
excellent ), and I have just paid off the credit cards, phew, thank
goodness for this. Extra money from the loan has allowed me to move
my
Electronics Project
forward.
I was in a very poor mental state in early April, at the prospect of
going bankrupt because of the roaring inflation that is coming. This
was before I obtained a fixed interest bank loan to pay off my credit
cards. With all that has happened to me in Ipswich, I had decided
that I had finally had enough. I wanted to get out of Ipswich, I
needed money to do this. In this poor mental state I panicked, and I
tried to extort money from Cephas, as they had tried to extort money
from their clients.
I also tried to get money from John Booty Ipswich Blind Society for
his stitch up in 1996. The deal was, give me the money and I will
remove their publications from the internet. This sort of immoral
behaviour is now becoming more common as money gets tight people
will do things that are discreditable: that they would not normally
do. Businesses at the moment that are short of money are finding ways
to lay people off without paying redundancy. Also,
Pregnant Women Targeted For Redundancy.
Ethics go out of the window when people are short of money, the
deteriorating financial situation is going to see this dramatically
increase. Muggings, theft, con-tricks: will all increase.
The letters to Cephas and Ipswich Blind society are published a few
paragraphs further down this page.
My dislike, almost a paranoid
hatred of Social services goes back a long way, back to 1992.
When I was severely mentally impaired by Hayley Coyne And Her Lies,
and with the knowledge of a pending court case I was in a very poor
mental state. An hierarchical teacher from Wesbourne High School came
to see me at my house, he knew of my mental demise: and the induced
poor mental state. He offered to get me help from Social Services but
unfortunately he made sexual advances to me. In 1992 I did not want
to enter in to any sexual behaviour with a man. This alarmed me and
made me very angry, I asked the man to leave my house. I did not want
any of his contacts from Social Services to call and see me, in case
they as his friends were also homosexual.
Social Services should have contacted me anyway to see if I wanted
help: and they did not do this. Also between 1993 and 1996 I contacted
Social Services to try to get safety matters addressed at the
Broomhill pool there was no positive response. I am not surprised, I
did not know at the time that James Hehir C.E.O. at Ipswich Borough
Council was an X head of Social Services. I felt that this was one
of the reasons why there was no satisfactory response from Social
Services. The main reason is IBC fund SS and they are not likely to
go up against them in any way.
SS I also feel are partly behind the extensive psychological sexual
profiling of me that has been going on for at least 13 years, if not
more as a political issue to destroy me or my credibility. This
escalated profiling particularly over the last 5 years has caused
a deteriorating mental state stabilising at a reasonable level to
date. 26 05 09. Any information on held data on me on data bases,
this would be appreciated, a print out of any data held on file sent
to me anonymously would certainly be appreciated.
Contact Me.
In early April 2009 I left a letter for Andria Hill C.E.O. At Suffolk
County Council. I had written to Andria Hill a few months earlier to
see if SCC would put up 1000 pounds to fund a short paper print run
of my Science Book.
The Brain Natures Own Computer
,to send to newspaper editors and other perceived interested people
to boot the printed book in to the public domain.
The letter stated that this book would help people with mental
illness, as usual there was no reply. This had annoyed me, a
reply would have been courteous. As stated earlier SCC are not
flavour of the month with me anyway, added to this is the sexual
profiling and stitch up of me in their main Ipswich library that
I feel principles at SCC have knowledge of linked and passed on
to IBC.
The paper-work for Andrea Hill was a printed version of the
Letter To Cephas
and appended to this was details of the sexual information
Pertinent To David Miles - Ipswich Blind Society.
There was also a statement of my sexual attractions including
children at a lessor rate dropping off sharply after thirteen
to finish at age 9. This of course with children under 12, such
interest caused by the engineered mental corruption of me by
abuse since 1996. I have no interest in sexualising children, I
only fantasise about them if offered sex by them. However, I
cannot stop these attractions: although they are reducing.
When I am mentally unstable, as I was at this time, I publish my
sexual details, in this case to disgust and annoy. In the past
I have published sexual details to other people when made mentally
unstable, as such publication means nothing to me. In the past such
data was not published to annoy.
In 1992 I sent a letter pertinent to Hayley Coyne. I was destabilised
by her being in danger. The letter sent to the head teacher of her
school. With this letter were details of my sexual fantasy for her.
This stupidity landed me in court.
In 1993 I sent James Hehir two books. 1. The then ASCII
text draft of programming Basic For Eternal Life and, 2. The
then ASCII text draft of Surrogate Daughter with graphs and sexual
details, the publication of that did not concern me. I was concerned
for public safety and public harassment by Hehir,s scummy officers
that he had knowledge of. I feel that Hehir then instructed IBC
officials to get me out of his swimming pools.
Hehir did not want dangerous swimming pools or any books about his
corporate skulduggery published, he was not concerned for public
safety.
ASC11 Text
can still be read in all word processors and text editors including
notebook, notepad etc. It was the forerunner of PDF. This web page
is written in ASCII text in a text editor with the web page code for
the browser to read typed in as I create the web page.
The same happened in 1996 to Ipswich Magistrates Court. And the same
year, ( may be wrong year, no time to research, ) to Nigel Pickover
because his paper slandered me in a published article. The article
said I was a perv. Pickover handed the data to the police and the
police seized my computers under the obscene publications act. Since
then Pickover and others, ( my assessment ), have done a very good
job of creating a perv.
Pickover shot himself in the foot, had he not given sexual data to
the police. I would have not been made so ill by the seizure of my
computers: this poor mental state increasing by police profiling as
recorded in Book-4 The Fiddle. This book publishing my assault in
1996 on IBC leader David Ball and the court case trying to swing a
general election.
If the whole case was published this probably would have swung
public opinion towards the Conservatives: and the Conservatives might
have been the government. However, this is academic, as government
ministers would rather ascend in an executive lift to an executive
area, sit on a gold plated loo: than walk across a factory floor to
less plush surroundings than bankers and speak to an MD with dirt in
his cracked hands because the M.D. had been repairing one of his
factories machines a day earlier. The Conservatives in tow with the
banks would have created the same stupidity.
All of this publishing of sexual data was not done to annoy or shock.
I was just publishing truthful event as it happened. I publish when
destabilised on the fly without any though of the consequences. As
can seen this pattern of publishing sexual data to corporates and
official bodies when mentally destabilised started in 1992 and has
carried on until recently.
This is
Madness ,
in a non delusory sense mental state, that for me has always
provided useful for me, but also mentally negating for me: feedback.
In the case of the interrogation by letters of Andrea Hill, I feel
that the engineered, knowing my phobias, engineered police tests
recently were the result.
The published data about Mayor Hale, now councillor Hale upset the
local newspaper editor, he is in my assessment very pro conservative.
James Hehir has now had his credibility returned with two recent
newspaper publications this month May 2009, cited as Town Chief.
The published data referring to me sighting James Hehir near Ipswich
University College on Friday 3Rd April, this was another of my
fishing expeditions.
A couple of days earlier in monitored telephone conversation with my
sister, ( monitored by the authorities, with a brownie point
collecting path back to Hehir ), I stated that I had given up, I was
just waiting to die. This was a lie, my sister knows this, and that
I am a fighter to the end. The fishing expedition was fruitful, as
I sighted Hehir on the docks, he was leering at me. Had I been sure
it was Hehir, in the mood that I was in at the time, I would have
physically attacked him.
-------------------------------------------------
An adaptation caused by abuse in any individual is displayed in their
transmission of sick jokes to people relating to the demise of another
person or people. I was telling a few such sick jokes to a couple of
friends a month ago, I was uncontrollably laughing as I told my
friends of my assessment of a funny situation concerning a person that
was badly burned. I had never displayed such emotion in uncontrollable
laughter at this level before. I do not think my friends appreciated
this display, they did not laugh. The woman said, 'you are sicker than
the kids.' I should have replied, 'yes I know, Sicko, adapted,
created, perfected, recently in Ipswich.'
From newspaper reports, violence is increasing in schools, arson is
increasing regarding school fires, alcohol induced violence is
increasing. School unruliness and general violence, this will increase
further as tension rises in families because of reducing income and
rising service expenditure. I walk most evenings in Ipswich, unruly
behaviour amongst the now less amount of people on the streets is
increasing.
Diary Continued.
Sunday 17TH May 2009.
I went to Portman Road Boot Sale at 8:30 AM. There was no boot sale
this day, I spoke to another man similar age who was also disgruntled
because there was no boot sale this day. He said, 'if it is for the
working man there is no control over it. I agreed this with him. I
stated this is the third time this year that I have been here and
there is no sale.
I e-mailed the proprietors to find out why the sale was cancelled
this time, the explanation was raining hard at 6:30AM a few sellers
had turned up, but they turned them away because of the rain. I
thought that's fair enough, there was a lot of water about at 8:30AM.
I wish the Lyons club would put on their web site information to the
football matches that cause other cancellations, instead of advertising
open every Sunday.
The reason I wrote this trivia is that what the man said about the
working man on the receiving end of in his assessment all
irregularities, I feel reflects the growing mood of discontent of the
working man regards his position: as last in the pecking order, and
treated unfairly by all above him.
Portman Road Car Boot Sale.
I went to see my eldest daughter Dianne this morning, she was
expecting me. She was wearing a pink dress. She sat across the
other side of the room as we talked. I had to look at her because of
the distance. I knew she was wearing that colour dress for a
purpose. Still collecting info for the police? Evening Star? The
Star loves your brothel and other brothels advertising revenue,
So they should?
Prostitutes in brothels reduce rapes, ( some men have got to have
it ). Some men like young child looking prostitutes: this reduces
child rape and child sexual assaulting. However, this is a very
complex area to assess, there are many variables. Do some men
like a prostitute to dress younger and younger each visit? These
men to eventually go on to criminally offend a child. Do the number
of break up relationships increase through women finding out that
their partners uses or used a prostitute? This causing a lot of
misery for all concerned: including the children. A very grey area,
difficult to define.
Tuesday 19TH May 2009.
In the afternoon I went in to Ipswich, As I walked up Lower Brook
Street past the Evening Star offices, There were no cars outside
this office, this is unusual. I was on the other side of the road.
I had to peer across the road to see a difficult to read bill
board advert just as a pink clad woman was walking in to the
offices with a push chair. Was this a test? Very Likely.
Wednesday 20TH May 2009.
I went to Tesco's in Duke Street, A lot of testing by Staff. No
failures.
Saturday 23RD May 2009.
In the evening waiting for a bus in Tower Ramparts Ipswich. A man
left a 7? year old girl red clad at a bus stop opposite on the main
road outside Crown Pools. Cars were moving past the girl quite fast,
about one car per second. I observed the girl, did not take my eyes
off her in case a car pulled in and tried to get her in a car. Her
carer returned after about 5 Minutes. Had a driver stopped and
talked to the child I would have been across to her in seconds.
I do not think this was a test. This annoyed me, however, I did
not reprimand the carer, I should have reprimanded the carer.
Sunday 24TH May 2009.
No testing at Ipswich Library this day. I left the library and
took my usual route towards Carr Street. I turned left in to
Carr Street, I was faced 20 yards away with a girl 9? black
clad dress, legs apart facing me. I looked for a split second, was
this a test? and then walked on. There was no sexual interest in the
child.
My Eldest daughter Dianne's Birthday today. I bought her a
portable CD player. Her birthday card which just said happy
birthday: birthday girl, with a bottle of wine on the front
cover had a picture of a woman wearing a pink dress on the
bottle, I had not noticed this. Dianne remarked on the pink
dress saying how nice it was. I sat close to Dianne, I watched the
TV as I talked to her. I did not want to look at her, this was a
slight induced phobia. As usual, I did not stay long.
Tuesday 26TH May 2009.
This day may not be correct, I have not been keeping accurate notes.
In the evening in Fore Street Ipswich, as I was returning home,
there were three people on the path coming towards me. A short red
clad person at the front and a black clad male and female couple
behind. I ignored the red clad person that I thought was a child,
and looked at the young woman behind who was nearest. She seemed
surprised that I looked at her. Was this a test?
Friday 29TH May 2009.
It was hot this day, in the afternoon I walked along the dock, near
the customs house a man with a young pink clad child aged 4? appeared
from behind a group of cars on the left side, and the pair walked
towards me at an angle to the right to cross my path. The child was
nearest to me, I moved to the left near the girl to allow the couple
to pass and carry on at the angle across my path and away from me.
I looked down to avoid the child, another person hissed at me behind
a car. When is this silliness going to stop? There was no
sexual interest in the pair.
Sunday 31ST May 2009.
At the boot sale, I felt there were several tests, one I deliberately
failed to see if it was a test, a back facing black clad woman, there
was a slight sexual attraction. At Ipswich Library whilst doing my
research, I was aware of a man who sat near me, he then moved about
the reading area taking up a position looking at a magazine rack, back
facing just in front of me, I went to turn a page, two pages were
stuck together I looked at the corner of the page, this was towards
the man's bottom, I heard the door to the office slam immediately
after. The man left. If there is a ever a possibility of attracting a
false positive, I will get it, this often happens. There was no
interest in the man's bottom.
Monday 1ST June 2009.
I went in to Ipswich to Lloyd's bank, I deliberately looked at breasts
on women, near the bank this annoyed a number of women, I was at the
time pleased. Sexual interest is far less for men: and far less for
children, I was pleased with this progress. I was quite sexually
interested in women more than recent: good. However, I feel this
increase is not normal for most people, normal for me because of my
isolation and loss of love of a girlfriend and the respect / love
lost from all friends.
-------------------------------------------------
My brain never stops searching. Whilst I have been working on this
page in the mornings, my complex electronics project in the afternoon
and evenings, of course interwoven with music lyrics that keep going
through my head, and other odd thoughts, obviously about my projects.
I have been thinking out the following, that I have also completed as
a science piece. Completed? Possibly not, this piece may evolve in to
a longer or shorter piece, or scrapped, because the physics is wrong.
Skip this if you are not interested in created hypothetical scientific
analyses projection.
Science Note. (C) Anthony Johns 01 06 09
Physicists have stated for some time that the
Universes
are
Holographic .
I have been slowly getting my head round this from
the first information that I received about this 2 years ago.
My brain never stops searching, I realised that if the mathematicians
finally analyse the atom as software: then the above is proved. I now
have an interest in this matter and I have started to read physics a
few hours per week.
There is now recent further evidence that all or most of the atoms in
our bodies are changed, replaced every 7 to 10 years
The Human Body Regenerates Every 7 Years .
It has been known for some time that when all fauna and flora on this
planet recycles, this is just the recycling of atoms. Some of these
atoms transmit throughout the universes. Is spontaneous order grouping
of atoms happening? Is this how life is formed and transmitted?
If all of the above science is proved to just be software adaptation
in
Time That May Not Exist ,
then, this gives credence to all that we know of the universes, and
our primitive existence and all matter being holographic. This then
poses the question. Q, is all this, all that we know just an
experiment by a higher intelligence: to see the evolution of
biological life, in zero time, in differing environments, to it's
inevitable transition to -
Mechanical Life? -
Further Reading. -
Further Reading.
-------------------------------------------------
Diary Continued.
Tuesday 2ND June 2009.
In the afternoon I spoke to Debbie, this is the daughter of Pat my
neighbour I have known Debbie for about 25 years. I used to go
skating and water skiing with Debbie and her brother Martin for
about 8 years from when I first met Martin with another friend
called Malcolm Saul who was Debbie's boyfriend at the time. I did
not look at Debbie's breasts, we discussed this and I said that
this phobia when looking at breasts when talking to women in close
proximity had gone. I then left my house and I then went in to town
to buy groceries.
I went to Tesco,s in Duke street, still tests there. As I walked in
the door there was a back facing black clad vest man just in front
of me in the isle I wanted to use. I looked In thought this was
Malcolm Saul, I have seen him wear black vest. I then realised that
this was a younger man, this confused me and I walked towards the
checkout and then back to the original aisle to get the tins of curry
that I wanted. As I walked back to the check out there was a young
slim woman in my path I took no notice of her or another woman near
the check out. A female member of staff said dead. There was a slight
sexual attraction towards one women, but not the black clad man. I
left the store.
There is now a video monitor display above the door at Tesco's with
a notice saying 24 hour surveillance. No bouncers now. This is probably
the result of my publication about this store, this obviously went to
area manager status to get this equipment installed, Tesco will deny
area managements consultation pertinent to my publication.
I walked with my head down along the dock looking up every few seconds
to avoid people. There was a group of white clad young women walking
along the path nearest the water, there is a builders barrier along
the side of this path so I decided rather than be slowed down by
this lot I walked along the road. I black clad man walked towards me,
just before he got to me he turned and talked to the women. He was
leaning over the barrier, his leg nearest me was bent. I looked down
in case he put his legout to trip or kick me. When I was past the
group I was photographed by presumably a psychologist.
I feel the library false positive, the test a little earlier in
Tesco's and new this test, if it was a test? were linked. Three linked
false positives. This proves how this sort of testing can so easily
produce false results. I carried on walking in to Ipswich and I did
not lift my head until I approached Upper Brook Street walking along
Lower Brook Street. I decided not to look at breasts, I walked through
town and I found not looking at women, particularly women's breasts,
this caused a slight sexual interest in children to appear.
Near Poundland a back view of a child aged 9? came in to view, she had
long absolutely jet black shiny hair going about 12 inches from the
back of her head going down her back. I cannot remember seeing such a
display of absolutely black shiny hair. I was sexually attracted to
this, however, the psychologists would not have picked this up because
I did not look directly at the child, she just came in to view and
passed by my viewing area as I walked past her. At no time did I look
directly at this child turning my eyes or head.
Was this the sexual attraction of something different again? I think
that the answer to this question is yes. Or was not looking at women's
breasts today the cause of this very quick adaptation? The thought of
such very quick adaptation concerned me for the rest of the afternoon.
However, that which is different is that when typing this up and
refreshing memory of the event, there was no sexual interest generated
in the memory refreshing of children sighted today reconstructed. This
sexual arousal normally happens when I type up notes about children
that I was sexually attracted too. This thought / imagery never leads
to touching myself or masturbation.
In the evening I went and saw friends there was no sexual attraction
towards the children that were there. There were the younger
children present, pink clad girl aged 10? Black clad boy aged 7?
Summary Of Recent Abuse And Action to Be Taken.
If you read the foregoing test on this part and part 13 you will
know that I have been very harassed and in my assessment my life
endangered by staff and management at my local Tesco store in
Duke Street Ipswich. I decided to write a letter to Tesco's managing
director, the letter is published on this internet site with a
picture of the offending store. The letter is very scathing and
critical of Tesco's local behaviour and general behaviour. This
letter is designed to annoy and ridicule, this is the equaliser.
Before you write a letter of complaint regards intimidation or
harassment from a corporate, ( A large firm or company ), If you
are going to publish on the internet add links to support articles
do your research on the corporate from the internet to see what
exactly you can find regards any issue that reflects any negative
activity practised by the company. Do not libel the company,
or write or print anything that is not truthful.
Think the letter out carefully before you write it, decide what
points you want to bring up in the letter that concern you.
Add all negative event that you can find on the company to
irritate the person you have decided to write to.
If, as in this case the corporate endangered my life through
locally published results, particularly results from false
positives from sexual testing that were published causing
alarm or distress. Then go to the
Companies House
web site find the company's registration number and do a search
on the company, this will cost you a pound.
You will need to go to the Current Appointments Report
page where you will find the directors names and addresses listed.
If a company has harassed or endangered your life: then publish the
directors names and addresses. If any of these directors live near
you then go and bang on their door and aggravate them. Take with
you a letter of complaint: and leave a copy of this letter with
a trusted agent in case the police are called. Do not abuse or
assault any person.
The Tesco Letter Is Published Here.
The Updated June 2009 Home Page Is Here.
